French & English : $b A comparisonHamerton, Philip Gilbert
History
French & English : $b A comparison
Hamerton, Philip Gilbert
National characteristics, English; National characteristics, French
kind of “marrying for money” that is constantly practised in France.
It is no more than a sort of partial prudence in cases where complete
prudence would be not to marry at all.
[Sidenote: Moderate Prudence rare in England.]
In England this sort of _moderate_ deference to prudential
considerations is comparatively rare. An Englishman marries for
affection decidedly, or for money with equal decision. He despises a
small dowry. The same man may marry for pure love with absolute disdain
of money, or he may sacrifice affection and seek for a wealthy heiress.
He would not, like a Frenchman, be turned aside from a love-match by
five or six hundred pounds.
[Sidenote: Imprudence in the English Lower Classes.]
Nearly all ranks in France are moderately prudent with regard to
marriage, but in England it is only the comfortable classes that are
so. The imprudence of the lower middle classes and of the people is
almost without limit. They talk about marriage, and they enter upon
it, exactly as if pecuniary difficulties had no existence. One of my
friends was invited to a wedding where rather genteel appearances were
observed, but nobody except himself had any cash. At the end of the
ceremony the young bridegroom approached him and borrowed fourteen
shillings to pay the fees. The money was never returned.
[Sidenote: Marrying for Marriage only.]
[Sidenote: A Decision to Marry.]
[Sidenote: Clerical Influence.]
[Sidenote: Orthodoxy.]
[Sidenote: Morality.]
I think it may fairly be said that there is more marrying _simply for
marriage_ in France than in England. What I mean may be made clearer by
a particular instance. A French lady once told me and several other
people that her son was going to be married. “Who is the young lady?”
I inquired. “Oh,” she answered, “I only mean that my son has decided
to marry, he has not yet fixed upon any young lady; that is a matter
for future consideration.” This, I should say, is very characteristic
of French habits of thought about marriage. A young Frenchman will
live on for some years without troubling his head about the matter,
when suddenly, nobody knows why, he will come to the conclusion that
he ought to get married, and then he will very likely ask some old
lady to manage the business for him. In the clerical party marriages
are often made by priests, who have great influence in finding rich
girls for young men likely to be dutiful sons of the Church. Open
unbelievers cannot hope to benefit by these influences. In England also
a reputation for strict orthodoxy is very valuable to a young gentleman
at the time of marriage; it is, in fact, or certainly was some years
ago, more valuable than a reputation for morality. I myself have
known instances of young Englishmen who married well and were known
to be immoral, when they would not have had the most distant chance
of “marrying money” if they had not been regular attendants at divine
worship.
[Sidenote: The Author’s Opinion.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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