Fresh Every Hour: Detailing the Adventures, Comic and Pathetic of One Jimmy Martin, Purveyor of Publicity, a Young Gentleman Possessing Sublime Nerve, Whimsical Imagination, Colossal Impudence, and, Withal, the Heart of a Child.Toohey, John Peter
General
Fresh Every Hour: Detailing the Adventures, Comic and Pathetic of One Jimmy Martin, Purveyor of Publicity, a Young Gentleman Possessing Sublime Nerve, Whimsical Imagination, Colossal Impudence, and, Withal, the Heart of a Child.
Toohey, John Peter
Press agents -- Fiction
There were rich purples, bright reds and gay greens in this little oasis
of color and from it there arose light laughter and frivolous chatter,
the echoes of which carried to the shocked ears of those more serious
minded persons who patiently waited on its edges for the onrush which
always followed the opening of the doors. Jimmy Martin stood in the
direct center of the oasis in his capacity as Personal Custodian of the
Big Idea and tried to soothe those turbulent spirits among the members
of the chorus of the “Keep Moving” company who were beginning to chafe
at the delay.
“Say, young fellow,” drawled a svelte creature whose tawny hair glowed
like an aureole as the last rays from the setting sun caught and kindled
it, “I haven’t stood as long as this since I quit cloak and suit
modeling to decorate the drama. Where do you get this stuff anyway? What
do you think we are—a troupe of trained seals?”
“That’s what I say,” broke in a young person with the soft eyes of a
Rubens’ seraph. “I called off a perfectly good dinner date with a dandy
little Harvard rah-rah just because Bartlett made a personal matter out
of this thing and here we are standing around with the other hicks
waiting for the side-show to begin and wasting perfectly good and
valuable time. Press agents always did get my goat.”
“Mine, too,” remarked a languid houri whose pallid face was set off by a
pair of enormous green earrings. “In New York I wouldn’t think of
standing in line for a chance to see the signing of the Declaration of
Independence with the original cast, and here I am getting corns on my
tootsies waiting to listen to a fellow that anyone can hear any time for
nothing at all. Really, girls, I don’t think any of us are in our right
minds.”
“I know it’s a nuisance, ladies,” said Jimmy urbanely, “but when you see
the smear that I think we’re goin’ to land in tomorrow’s papers you’ll
be thankful that you stuck along. I want you all to sit in a group by
yourselves and don’t any of you try to be too shrinking. I want the
newspaper bunch to find you’re there without my tellin’ ’em. Then it’ll
look as if your bein’ there is more on the level than otherwise. When it
comes to the singin’ I want all of you, please, to cut in for all it’s
worth just as if Bartlett was sittin’ down in front at a dress
rehearsal.”
“When the trail hittin’ begins just sit tight and register intense
interest in the proceedings. If any of you laugh it’ll spoil the whole
arrangement. I was at one of these meetin’s out in Denver a couple of
years ago and when those folks start comin’ down the aisles believe me
it ain’t anything to get funny about. If any of the newspaper crowd get
to you when it’s all over I want whoever does any talkin’ to say that
you’re all profoundly impressed with everything and all that, and that
you’re all comin’ again tomorrow afternoon and whenever else you get a
chance.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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