Psychoanalysis -- Fiction; Science fiction; Short stories
Before he had taken the first step in a rearward direction, however,
the hairy little man curved around him in a blur of motion, barring
the way with two long, muscular, red-furred arms. Herman turned. The
four-eyed little man had closed in. Herman, gasping, backed up against
the bookstall.
People who were headed directly for them, although showing no
recognition that Herman and the little men were there, moved stiffly
aside like dancing automatons, strode past, then made another stiff
sidewise motion to bring them back to the original line of march
before they went on their way.
"Olaph dzenn Härm Rai gjo glerr-dregnarr?" demanded Hairy.
Herman gulped, half-stunned. "Huh?" he said.
Hairy turned to Four-Eyes. "Grinnr alaz harisi nuya."
"Izzred alph! Meggi erd-halaza riggbörd els kamma gredyik. Lukhhal!"
Hairy turned back to Herman. Blinking his eyes rapidly, for they
closed like the shutter of a camera, he made a placating gesture with
both huge furry hands. "Kelagg ikri odrum faz," he said, and, reaching
out to the bookstall, he plucked out a handful of volumes, fanned them
like playing cards and displayed them to Four-Eyes. A heated
discussion ensued, at the end of which Hairy kept _For Whom the Bell
Tolls_, Four-Eyes took _The Blonde in the Bathtub_, and Hairy threw
the rest away.
Then, while Herman gaped and made retching sounds, the two disgusting
little men tore pages out of the books and stuffed them in their
mouths. When they finished the pages, they ate the bindings. Then
there was a rather sick pause while they seemed to digest the contents
of the books they had literally devoured. Herman had the wild thought
that they were blurb writers whose jobs had gone to their heads.
The one with the four eyes rolled three of them horribly. "That's more
like it," he said in nasal but recognizable English. "Let's start
over. Are you Herman Raye, the skull doc?"
Herman produced a series of incoherent sounds.
"My brother expresses himself crudely," said Hairy in a rich, fruity
baritone. "Please forgive him. He is a man of much heart."
"Uh?" said Herman.
"Truly," said Hairy. "And of much ears," he added with a glance at his
companion. "But again, as to this affair--tell me true, are you Herman
Raye, the analyst of minds?"
"Suppose I am?" Herman asked cautiously.
Hairy turned to Four-eyes. "Arghraz iktri 'Suppose I am,' Gurh? Olaph
iktri erz ogromat, lekh--"
"Talk English, can't you?" Four-eyes broke in. "You know he don't
understand that caveman jabber. Anyhow, yeah, yeah, it's him. He just
don't want to say so." He reached out and took Herman by the collar.
"Come on, boy, the boss is waitin'."
There were two circular hair-lines of glowing crimson where Hairy and
Four-eyes had originally appeared. They reached the spot in one jump,
Hairy bringing up the rear.
"But tell me truly," he said anxiously. "You _are_ that same Herman
Raye?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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