Then ol’ man Dort marched to the center o’ the street, carryin’ his cage as though it was full o’ diamonds; an’ Ben Butler sat up an’ chattered as if he was darin’ the whole race o’ squirrels to bring forth his equal. “I don’t reckon a squirrel could get three times as big as him without explodin’,” sez Spider Kelley, who also had his money on Eugene’s squirrel. “Here comes Eugene with Columbus,” sez I, not carin’ to waste breath on an opinion I had backed up with good money. Eugene came down the street carryin’ one end of a box, with Doc Forbes carryin’ the other. The box was covered with a clean apron, an’ Eugene wasn’t lookin’ down in the mouth or discouraged. “From the size o’ that box, we’re goin’ to have a run for our money,” sez Spider. “If Columbus just looks good enough to make ’em settle by the scales, I haven’t any kick comin’.” Well, as Eugene drew closer, that crowd fell into a silence until all a body could hear was Ben Butler braggin’ about all the nuts he had et, an’ what a prodigious big squirrel he was; but Eugene never faltered. He walked up an’ set his box down careful, motioned Doc over to the side lines, made a graceful motion to ol’ man Dort, an’ sez: “As yours is the local champion you introduce him first, an’ make your claim.” Ol’ man Dort removed his tobacco, wiped his forehead, an’ sez: “Feller citizens, I make the claim that Ben Butler is the biggest full-blooded squirrel ever sent to enlighten the solitude of lonely humanity. This is him.” The ol’ man looked lovin’ly down at his squirrel, an’ we every one of us gave a rousin’ cheer. It was all the family the ol’ man had, an’ it meant more to him ’n a body who hadn’t never tried standin’ his own company months at a time could realize. Ol’ man Dort thrust some new tobacco into his face, bit his lips, winked his eyes rapid, an’ bowed to us, almost overcome. Then Eugene stepped a space to the front, bowed to the crowd in several directions, an’ sez: “Gentlemen, an’ feller citizens—From Iceland’s icy mountains to India’s coral strands an’ Afric’s sunny fountains, every nation an’ every clime has produced some peculiar product o’ nature which lifts it above an’ sets it apart from all the other localities of the globe. When you speak of the succulent banana, the golden orange, or the prickly pineapple, Nova Scotia remains silent; but when you speak of varmints, she rears up on her hind legs and with a glad shout of triumph, she hands forth the short-tailed grizzly ground-squirrel, an’ sez, ‘Give me the blue ribbons, the gold medals, an’ the laurel crowns of victory.’ I have the rare pleasure an’ the distinctive honor of presenting to your notice Columbus, the hugest squirrel ever exhibited within the confines of captivity.”