And yet there is no book, even in classical literature, which so exalts
the idea of friendship, and is so anxious to have it truly valued, and
carefully kept. The worldly-wise warnings are after all in the
interests of true friendship. To condemn hypocrisy is not, as is so
often imagined, to condemn religion. To spurn the spurious is not to
reject the true. A sneer at folly may be only a covert argument for
wisdom. Satire is negative truth. The unfortunate thing is that most
men, who begin with the prudential worldly-wise philosophy, end there.
They never get past the sneer. Not so this wise book. In spite of its
insight into the weakness of man, in spite of its frank denunciation of
the common masquerade of friendship, it speaks of the true kind in
words of beauty that have never been surpassed in all the many
appraisements of this subject. "A friend loveth at all times, and is a
brother born for adversity. Faithful are the wounds of a friend.
Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart, so doth the sweetness of a
man's friend by hearty counsel. Thine own friend and thy father's
friend forsake not." These are not the words of a cynic, who has lost
faith in man.
True, this golden friendship is not a common thing to be picked up in
the street. It would not be worth much if it were. Like wisdom it
must be sought for as for hid treasures, and to keep it demands care
and thought. To think that every goose is a swan, that every new
comrade is the man of your own heart, is to have a very shallow heart.
Every casual acquaintance is not a hero. There are pearls of the
heart, which cannot be thrown to swine. Till we learn what a sacred
thing a true friendship is, it is futile to speak of the culture of
friendship. The man who wears his heart on his sleeve cannot wonder if
daws peck at it. There ought to be a sanctuary, to which few receive
admittance. It is great innocence, or great folly, and in this
connection the terms are almost synonymous, to open our arms to
everybody to whom we are introduced. The Book of Proverbs, as a manual
on friendship, gives as shrewd and caustic warnings as are needed, but
it does not go to the other extreme, and say that all men are liars,
that there are no truth and faithfulness to be found. To say so is to
speak in haste. There is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother,
says this wisest of books. There is possible such a blessed
relationship, a state of love and trust and generous comradehood, where
a man feels safe to be himself, because he knows that he will not
easily be misunderstood.
The word friendship has been abased by applying it to low and unworthy
uses, and so there is plenty of copy still to be got from life by the
cynic and the satirist. The sacred name of friend has been bandied
about till it runs the risk of losing its true meaning. Rossetti's
versicle finds its point in life--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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