Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being SeriousMarsh, Richard
General
Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being Serious
Marsh, Richard
Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
The sergeant--he was a sergeant--made short work of the clearance,
even managing, by dint of an assurance that he would listen to all she
had to say afterwards, to dislodge "Sarah Eliza Warren." Then he
turned to me.
"Now, perhaps, you will tell me what this means. If you're the
householder, as you say, you yourself ought to turn anyone out of your
own house you want to turn out, as a policeman has no right to come
into a private house unless an actual charge is to be preferred. I
don't know what you've been doing, but you seem to be responsible for
something very like a riot."
I felt that it was hard, after what I had undergone, to be addressed
in such a strain by a man in his position.
"When you have heard the explanation which I am about to give you, you
will yourself perceive how far you are justified in adopting towards
me such a tone." I paused. I seated myself--the support of a chair
having become an absolute necessity. "The day before yesterday, as I
was turning from Knightsbridge into Sloane Street, I saw a purse lying
on the pavement. I picked it up. I inquired of several people standing
about, or who were passing by, if they had dropped it. No one had. I
brought it home, and yesterday I sent an advertisement to the papers.
Here it is, in one of them."
I pointed it out to him in a newspaper of the day.
"Found, A Purse.--Owner may have it by giving description and paying
the cost of this advertisement.--Apply to 25, Bangley Gardens, S.W."
"It's too vague," objected the constable.
"I purposely made it as vague as I could, thinking that if I left all
the details to be filled in I should render it certain that it could
only be claimed by the actual owner, and, to make sure it should be
claimed by him, I had it inserted in all the morning papers."
The constable smiled the smile of superiority.
"If you had let me know what you had done I'd have sent my men down in
time to protect you. A vague advertisement like that appearing in all
the papers is bound to attract the attention of half the riffraff of
London, who are always ready for a little game of trying it on, not to
speak of the hundreds, perhaps thousands, who are losing their purses
every day."
"I have discovered that fact--a day after the affair."
"You ought to have taken it at once to a police-station. Everyone
ought to take the things they find. It would save them a lot of
bother."
"That, also, I perceive too late. I was under a different impression
at first. I know better now. Perhaps you will allow me to repair my
error and confide it to your keeping at this, the eleventh hour. Then
I shall have pleasure in referring all further applicants to you."
As he placed the purse in the inside pocket of his tunic the sergeant
grinned.
"Don't think you'll get rid of them by giving it to me now, because
you won't. Look at the street. There's a pretty sight for you."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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