Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being SeriousMarsh, Richard
General
Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being Serious
Marsh, Richard
Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
"Come, gentlemen, come! we're wasting time. As business men we ought
to know its value. Now, Mr. Longsett, I've too much faith in your
integrity not to know that you're open to conviction. Tell us, where
do you think the evidence for the prosecution is not sufficiently
strong?" Mr. Longsett did not justify the foreman's faith by
answering. "Be frank, on what point are you not satisfied?"
After more than momentary hesitation Mr. Longsett replied, without,
however, raising his eyes.
"It's no use talking to me, Mr. Grice, so that's all about it. I say
not guilty!"
Mr. Moss explained.
"The plain fact is, Mr. Foreman, Mr. Longsett is a relation of the
prisoner; he ought not to have been on this jury at all."
This time Mr. Longsett did raise his eyes--and his voice too.
"I've as much right to be on the jury as you have--perhaps more. Who
do you think you are? I pay my way--and I pay my servants too! They
don't have to county-court me before they can get their wages. Only
the other day I was on a jury when they were county-courting you. So
it isn't the first jury I've been on, you see."
Mr. Moss did not seem pleased. The allusion was to a difference which
that gentleman had had with one of his servants, and which had been
settled in the county court. Again the foreman drummed upon the board.
"Order, gentlemen, order!"
Mr. Timmins turned to Mr. Hisgard. He winked.
"Have a game at crib, Bob? I knew Jacob would be here, so I came
provided!"
He produced a cribbage-board. Once more the foreman interposed.
"Keep to the business we have in hand, please, gentlemen."
"Oh, they can have their game, I don't mind. Perhaps I came as well
provided as anyone else."
As he replied Jacob took from his pocket a brown paper parcel of
considerable dimensions. Tom Elliott, who was sitting by him,
instantly snatching it, passed it on to Mr. Hisgard.
"Have a sandwich, Mr. Hisgard?"
"No, thank you. But perhaps Mr. Timmins will?"
He passed the packet to Mr. Timmins. That gentleman made a feint of
opening it. Mr. Longsett, rising from his chair, reached for his
property across the table.
"None of that; give it back to me." Mr. Timmins tossed the packet to
the other end of the table.
"Now, Timmins, what do you mean by that? Do you want me to wipe you
across the head?"
Mr. Timmins addressed Mr. Grice. "Now, Mr. Foreman, won't you offer
the jury a sandwich each? It is about our dinner-time."
Mr. Grice eyed the packet in front of him as if he were more than half
disposed to act on the suggestion.
"I really don't think, Mr. Longsett, that you ought to eat sandwiches
out of a pure spirit of contradiction."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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