Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being SeriousMarsh, Richard
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Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being Serious
Marsh, Richard
Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
"Don't you call me objectionable, Mr. Grice! I won't have it! I'm no
more objectionable than you are! I've got as much right to an opinion
as you, and because my opinion don't happen to be the same as yours
you've no right to call me names. If we all start calling each other
names a nice state of things that'll be. A pretty notion of a
foreman's duties you seem to have!"
Mr. Grice, who was not pugilistic, turned a trifle pale; he did not
seem happy. Captain Rudd, tilting his chair backwards, and thrusting
his hands into his trouser pockets, looked up at the ceiling.
"This is the sort of thing which brings the jury system into
contempt."
"What's that, Captain Rudd?" Mr. Longsett, who was still upon his
feet, chose his words with much deliberation, emphasising them with
shakings of his fist. "You mean you're the sort, I suppose? You're
quite right, you are. You've been in the army, you see, and you think
we're soldiers, to come to heel whenever you tell us, and that's where
you're mistaken, Captain Rudd. We're free Englishmen, and we don't
choose to have you come the officer over us--and that's how you make
the thing contemptible by trying."
There was silence. His colleagues seemed to be arriving at the
conclusion that Jacob was a difficult man to differ with.
"It strikes me," said Mr. Timmins, when the silence was becoming
painful, "that if the law is really such that we've got to stop here
till our good Jacob takes it into his generous head to let us go, you
and I, Mr. Hisgard, might have that little game of crib I was speaking
of; it may help us forget where we are, and that we're not going to
have any dinner till it's past supper time."
"Just you wait a minute. Perhaps," replied Mr. Hisgard, "I may be
allowed to say a word." No one appeared to have any objection. "What I
wish to remark is this. With all deference, I think Mr. Slater spoke
as a practical man. I don't see that there's much difference between
saying guilty and at the same time asking the magistrate to award no
punishment, and, as Mr. Slater puts it, bringing it in not guilty
right away."
Mr. Timmins, who had been shuffling a pack of cards, replaced them on
the table.
"All right. Let's have it that way and make an end of it. Suppose we
all say not guilty and caution him not to do it again--what's the
odds?"
"So far as I'm concerned," observed Tom Elliott, "I'm willing to bring
him in not guilty. It's my belief he's been led into it all along, and
I know perhaps as much about it as anyone. There's a good deal about
the affair what's been kept quiet by both sides. Perhaps I might have
said a word for one."
Mr. Moss interrogated the foreman with uplifted eyebrows.
"Do you think it does make any difference?"
The foreman shrugged his shoulders. He was still. Captain Rudd spoke
for him.
"It makes the difference between right and wrong--that's all."
Mr. Plummer leaned his elbows on the table; his spectacled countenance
wore its most benevolent smile.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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