Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being SeriousMarsh, Richard
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Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being Serious
Marsh, Richard
Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
"'Baron d'Ardigny, there are one or two questions which I should like
you to answer. First of all, am I to regard myself as a prisoner?'
"'Did you not use to tell me that you would be for ever mine?'
"'Never, Baron, never!--You have not favoured me with an answer to my
question.'
"'Was there not a moment when I was your star of love?'
"'Not a moment, Baron.--You have not answered me. Am I, or am I not,
to regard myself as a prisoner?'
"'You are a prisoner! It is as a prisoner you are here! It is as a
prisoner you must treat me!'
"'I should be delighted to treat you as a prisoner. Unfortunately it
appears that it is as a prisoner you are treating me.'
"'Your crimes, I do not doubt, they are as black as ink! A woman who
can be as false as you--to such a woman nothing is impossible.'
"'Baron d'Ardigny, I do not know how this sort of thing is done in
Belgium, but in England when they lock a person up they tell him what
they lock him up for. With you, has a policeman the power of taking a
person to the stationhouse for the sole purpose and pleasure of
calling them names?'
"'Mees Nash----'
"'I have already informed you that I am Mrs. Godwin.'
"'So you are Mrs. Godwin! You insist! Well! At last we have arrived!
Meez-sers Godwin, I tell you this. Mark carefully; I meet your husband
once--for a moment. A second time--for ever--upon the field of
honour.'
"I do not know if abroad policemen always speak to their prisoners as
the Baron spoke to me. The inhabitants of those countries must enjoy
themselves if they do. For my part, although my situation was
sufficiently critical, it was all I could do to refrain from laughter.
If you could only have seen how funny he looked! I do not know if he
mistook my silence for admiration, but on a sudden his madness assumed
a dreadful phase. He threw himself into an attitude--ask Geraldine if
she has forgotten his attitudes--and apostrophised me thus: 'When I
look upon that lovely face, upon those eyes of perfect blue, upon that
hair of gold, upon that figure exquisite, I say to myself, "Hector,
Hector d'Ardigny! you who has not been without his fortunate
experience, is it possible that you cannot win the love of a creature
so divine?" I answer to myself, "It is impossible."'
"I hesitated for a moment what, under the circumstances, I had better
do. I saw plainly that it was no use to talk to the man. I arrived at
a sudden resolution. I decided that I would try--as they say in the
cookery-books--another way. As he stood with his eyes and hands raised
towards the ceiling I went and I took him by the thing inside the
collar of his coat--stock, I think they call it--and I shook him.
I do not think he ever had a better shaking in his life. I kept at it
till the thing inside the collar of his coat came loose in my hand.
Then--you know he is _such_ a little man--I lifted him off his feet
and seated him on the edge of the table. The rest was silence. He
looked at me, and I, for my part, looked at him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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