Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being SeriousMarsh, Richard
General
Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being Serious
Marsh, Richard
Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
"'Jennie, I reached Rotterdam at 9.0 and I left by the train at 9.15,
_viâ_ Zevenbergen, for Antwerp. When I reached Antwerp they told me
you were arrested.'
"'I have been arrested. This is the chief of police, who arrested me.
Baron d'Ardigny, this is my husband, Mr. Conrad Godwin.'
"I suspect that the Baron, from his perch upon the table, had been
edified by our proceedings.
"When I said this he sprang to the ground.
"'So!--this is Conrad Godwin! Sir, I will pull your nose.'
"Conrad was puzzled.
"'I beg your pardon?'
"'Sir, I tell you are _canaille_, _cochon_--pig! You understand?'
"Conrad turned to me.
"'Is he mad?'
"'Mad!' The Baron went mad at the bare suggestion. 'Mr. Conrad Godwin,
I treat you as a gentleman. As a gentleman I tell you I will cut your
throat.'
"I think he would have 'gone' for Conrad. But just then the door
opened again, and a strange gentleman came in.
"'Godwin!' he cried.
"'Haynes!'
"'You have the key of the safe.'
"'I know it. I wired you that I had.'
"'Wired me! When?'
"'I wired you last night from Harwich.'
"'The deuce you have! And I have been chasing you through Ostend and
Brussels! A nice muddle you have made of it. All the locksmiths and
burglars in London have been retained to effect an entrance to the
safe. I thought I would be even with you, so I sent them a wire to
detain you.'
"'They have not detained me, but they have my wife. They have arrested
her.'
"'Mrs. Godwin!--I beg ten thousand pardons!'
"He was most apologetic--really nice, mamma!" ...
"P.S.--Dear mamma, the Baron lunched with us at the Hotel St. Antoine.
There were four of us. I did not ask Mr. Pearson. I thought that
perhaps he would not come. _The Baron was charming!_"
The Burglar's Blunder
"That's done the trick! Now for the swag!"
As Mr. Bennett made this observation to himself he slipped the window
up and stepped into the room. He stood for a moment listening. Within,
all was still; without, not a sound disturbed the silence of the
night.
"I think it's all serene."
It is probable that Mr. Bennett smiled. He was engaged in the exercise
of his profession, and it consoled him to perceive that, on this
occasion, the stars seemed to be fighting on his side. He drew down
the window softly and replaced the blind. It was a principle of his
never to leave anything which might give a hint to the outside public
of what was going on within. The room, with the blind down, was
intensely dark. He put his hand into his pocket and drew out a little
shaded lantern. Cautiously removing the shutter about half an inch a
pencil of light gleamed across the room. He was apparently content
with this illumination. By its aid he carefully examined floor, walls,
and ceiling.
"Early English. I thought so."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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