Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being SeriousMarsh, Richard
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Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being Serious
Marsh, Richard
Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
"What is the matter with my clothes?" she asked.
"You, whom your own father turned into the streets, to dare to place
yourself upon an equality with me!"
The big woman turned with an affable smile to the little one, who
stood trembling and sniffing in the centre of the room.
"Queer old-fashioned folk they are this side. Now, to my thinking, one
lady oughtn't to remind another lady of things she wishes to be
forgotten."
The little woman bobbed her knotted handkerchief into her eyes.
"Oh, Louisa, how can you now!"
Mrs. Harland raised her arm, semaphore fashion.
"Leave the room!" she said.
The big woman settled herself more comfortably in the easy-chair.
"Not me. Not unless I take my sons along with me. You have received
their father's money, which is mine; if you receive my money you'll
receive me too--we go together."
"_I_ have received your money--yours! Who are you?"
"There's my card." The big woman waved her hand in the direction of
the mantelshelf. "I've another in my pocket, and I've told you who I
am besides; but, to oblige you, I don't mind telling you who I am
again. I'm Mrs. Bindon."
Mrs. Harland turned upon the little woman. There was frenzy in her
air.
"Then who are you?"
Said the little woman, between her sniffs:
"I am Mrs. Bindon too."
"You are Mrs. Bindon too! Is the man a bigamist?"
The big woman smiled.
"There is no bigamy in Utah."
"Utah!" Mrs. Harland staggered back. "Utah!" She looked wildly round
the room. "Isn't Utah where the Mormons are?"
The big woman, taking out a large white handkerchief, proceeded, at
one and the same time, to fan herself, and to diffuse a strong odour
of patchouli.
"Utah is, upon earth, the abiding place of the saints," she said.
Mrs. Harland echoed her words.
"The abiding place of the saints."
A vehicle was approaching the house. It could be seen through the
window.
"I think," observed the big woman, as she raised her _pince-nez_,
"that here are some of the other Mrs. Bindons."
Rising from her seat she opened the drawing-room door.
"Come in, my dears," she said, addressing some person or persons
without; "I am here, and Mrs. Jane."
As she held the door wide open a procession began to enter the room--a
procession of women. They were of all styles and shapes and sizes.
There were fat and there were thin. They were attired in all the
colours of the rainbow. Mrs. Harland, who began to think that her
senses must be leaving her, distinctly counted seven. The seven, with
the two already arrived, made nine--nine Mrs. Bindons. How the seven
had journeyed in a single fly is one of the mysteries which are not
yet unfolded. The big woman acted as mistress of the ceremonies.
"Sit down, my dears, there are seats for you all. I am sure you will
excuse a little crowding."
"Where's the teacher?" asked a short, thick-set woman, who had seated
herself with her legs apart, and her hands set squarely on her knees.
"That is more than I can tell you. But here's his wife."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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