"You certainly possess one element of strength, in that you recognize
them. Knowledge of danger is often the best means of safety. But
how is it that you are so ready to acknowledge weakness of any kind?
I thought that men scoffed at the idea that they could be weak or
in danger from any temptation."
"If they do, they either do not know themselves, or they are not
honest. I do know myself, to my sorrow, and it would seem like
sacrilege to me not to be truthful and sincere with you. And yet
it is when I am with you that I most despise myself."
"How, then, can you endure my presence?" she asked, with a shy,
half-mischievous glance.
He flushed slightly, and tried to disguise a deeper meaning with
a slight laugh, as he said, "If I were shut out of Eden, I should
often be tempted to look over the hedge."
She did not reply at once, nor lift her eyes to his, but the color
deepened upon her cheeks; and if he had seen the expression of her
averted face, his might have appeared more hopeful.
After a moment she turned and said, with a smile, "I think the fact
that you would like to look over the hedge a very promising sign.
It proves that you regret our lost Eden purity, and would like to
possess it again. If you will only let your wishes develop into
right action, instead of looking wistfully over the hedge, you may
be welcomed within the gate of the better Paradise."
He looked at her searchingly, but she again turned away her face,
and would not meet his eye. After a moment, he said, "I do not
think you used the pronoun 'our,' correctly. There is nothing akin
between my moral state and yours."
"Yes, there is," she replied earnestly. "If you struggle as hard
to do right as I do, you are trying very hard indeed."
With a quick glance of surprise he said, "It has ever seemed to me
that you were developing as naturally and inevitably as a moss-rose."
"Nonsense!" she answered, a little abruptly. "I am as human as
you are. I have doubtless had advantages over you in being more
sheltered and less tempted. But in a world like ours, and with
natures like ours, every one must struggle hard who would live a
good life. Even then we need Divine help."
They had now passed into a large conservatory, where they supposed
they were alone. He took her hand and said, with a manly sincerity
that made his face almost as noble as hers was beautiful: "Miss
Martell, you are holier than I am. You are as much above me as
heaven is above the earth. And yet, because you have not said to
me, 'Stand aside, for I am holier than thou'; because you have made
a claim, which I can scarcely understand, of kindred weakness,--of
like need of effort to do right,--you have given me a little hope
that possibly at some distant day I may find a way out of my doubts
and weaknesses. I should like to be a true and believing man."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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