"Please do not think that I have it in my heart to say 'Stand aside'
to any one. Such a spirit is most unchristian, and in me would be
most unwarranted. Do not think I meant that when I repulsed Mr.
Brently. He has forfeited every right to the title of gentleman.
I believe he is utterly bad, and he shows no wish to be otherwise;
and I was disgusted by the flattering attentions he received from
those with whom he had no right to associate at all. When will
society get beyond its vulgar worship of wealth! But, Mr. Harcourt,
please don't talk about a 'possible way out of your doubts and
weaknesses at some distant day.' You paid me the highest compliment
in your power, when you refrained from wine at supper to-night. I
am going to ask a personal favor. Won't you let it alone altogether?
Mr. Harcourt," she added, her eyes filling with tears, "I cannot
bear to think of a nature like yours becoming a slave to such an
appetite, and it does seem to master those who are naturally the
noblest."
He turned away to hide his own feeling, while she, with clasped
hands, stood looking at him, as his good angel might. When he turned
to her, he spoke calmly, and almost humbly: "I will not protest
too much, Miss Martell. I will make no loud and absolute promises,
but it seems to me, while I stand here in your presence, I could
not do a mean or ignoble thing again. But in that degree that I
revere you, I distrust myself. But I pledge you my honor, that I
will try to do what you ask, and more."
"You give me just the kind of promise I like best," she said, giving
him her hand with a happy smile. "But I can not tell you how much
I wish you could seek God's help, as simply, as believingly, as I
do."
"Ah, there is the trouble," he replied, in deep dejection. "My mind
is tossed upon a sea of doubt and uncertainty." Then, as from a
sudden impulse, he said, "But I could worship you. You are the most
beautiful woman here tonight, but instead of making your beauty the
slave of contemptible vanity, and employing it, like Miss Marsden
and others, merely to win flattery and attention, you turn from
all, and forget yourself and your own pleasure, that you may keep
a man that is hardly worth saving from going to the devil. If I
go, after your kindness to-night, it will be because I ought."
Here her father called her from the door. The character of the
entertainment was becoming such that he was anxious to get away.
As they left the conservatory, she said in a low, hasty tone, "I
am not so unselfish as you think; for it would make me very unhappy
if you did not become what you are capable of being."
"Since you care personally what becomes of me, you have given me
a double incentive," he answered eagerly, as they passed out.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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