He was one of those single-hearted, resolute fellows, who have the
greatest faculty for persistently blundering under an honest but
wrong impression. But, in this case, his impression was natural,
and he was wrong, only because Lottie was "capable of noble
things,"--only because she did belong to that class of women to
whom the love of their heart counts for infinitely more than all
externals. If he had fallen in love with a very goodish sort of
girl of the Bel Parton type, the course he had marked out would
have been the wisest and best, eventually, for both, even though
it involved, at first, a good deal of suffering.
When a wife assures her husband, by word or manner, "You took
advantage of my love and inexperience to commit me to a life and
condition that are distasteful or revolting, and you have thereby
inflicted an irreparable injury," the man, if he be fine-fibred and
sensitive, can only look forward to a painful and aggravated form
of martyrdom. One had better live alone as long as Methuselah than
induce a small-souled woman to enter with him on a life involving
continual sacrifice. With such women, some men can be tolerably happy,
if they have the means to carry out the "gilded cage" principle;
but woe to them both if the gilded cage is broken or lost, and they
have to go out into the great world and build their nest wherever
they can.
Providence had given to Lottie the chance to live the life of ideal
womanhood,--the life of love and devotion,--and she did not mean
to lose it. While her high spirit would often chafe with a little
wholesome friction, it would yet grow sweeter and more patient
under the trials of the hardest lot, if they could only be endured
at his side to whom, by some mystic necessity of her being, she
had given her heart.
Therefore, with unmingled satisfaction she saw that she was sapping
the student's stern resolution not to speak. She would, by a
witchery as innocent as subtile, beguile him into just the opposite
of what he had proposed. As she had declared to her uncle, he should
ask her, in a very humble manner, to become a home missionary,
and she, under the circumstances, was more ready to comply than to
become Empress of all the Russias.
But, during the remainder of the ride, she made the time pass all
too quickly, as she led him to speak of his student life, his Western
home, and especially of his mother; and Lottie smiled appreciatively
over the enthusiasm and affection which he manifested for one
concerning whom she had ever heard Mrs. Marchmont speak a little
slightingly. The genuine interest which she took in all that
related to Mrs. Hemstead touched the young man very closely, and
his whole nature was getting under arms against what his heart was
beginning to characterize as a most unnatural and stupid resolution.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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