There was a boom in model coffins of all sizes, and a constantly
flickering or raging discussion on details of tassels, cords, handles,
and other funereal ornaments. Private Copple again displayed his
originality of thought by blacking a specially fine specimen of his
handiwork with boot polish, with nails and name-plate (duly inscribed
with his own name and regimental number) picked out in the white clay.
He was so pleased with this that he posted it home, and, on receiving
warm words of praise from his mother in Mile End, and the information
that the coffin was installed for ever as a household ornament and an
object of interest and admiration to all neighbours, a steady export
trade in clay coffins was established from the Oughth London to friends
and relatives at home.
The Art School was still flourishing when the unit was moved up
from its peaceful and prolonged rest to take a turn up behind the
firing-line. The removal from their clay supply might have closed
down the artistic activities, but, fortunately, the Oughth had hardly
settled in to their new quarters when it was found that the whole
ground was one vast bed of chalk, chalk which was easily obtainable in
any shaped and sized lumps and which proved most delightfully easy to
manipulate with a jack or pen-knife. The new modelling material, in
fact, gave a fillip of novelty to the art, and the coffins and crosses
proved, when completed, to have a most desirable quality of solidity
and of lasting and retaining their shape and form far better than the
similar objects in clay.
Better still, the chalk could be carried about on the person as no clay
could, and worked at anywhere in odd moments. Bulging side-pockets
became a marked feature of inspection parades, until one day when the
C.O. went round, and noticing a craggy projection under the pocket of
Private Copple, demanded to know what the private was loading himself
with, and told him abruptly to show the contents of his pocket. On
Copple producing with difficulty a lump of partially carved chalk,
the C.O. stared at it and then at the sheepish face of the private in
blank amazement. “What’s this?” he demanded. “What is it?”
“It—it’s a elephant, sir,” said Copple.
“An elephant,” said the C.O. dazedly. “An _elephant_?”
“Yessir—leastways, it will be a elephant when it’s finished,” said
Copple bashfully.
“Elephant—will be——” spluttered the C.O., turning to the officer who
accompanied him. “Is the man mad?”
“I think, sir,” said the junior, “he is trying to carve an elephant out
of a lump of chalk.”
“That’s it, sir,” said Copple, and with a dignified touch of resentment
at the “trying,” “I _am_ carving out a elephant.”
The C.O. turned over the block of chalk with four rudimentary legs
beginning to sprout from it, and then handed it back. “Take it away,”
he said. “Fall out, and take the thing away. And when you come on
parade next time leave—ah—your elephants in your billet.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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