Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and PictureCox, Palmer
General
Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and Picture
Cox, Palmer
Canadian wit and humor
“We had a lively time of it gettin’ her down agin too, now I can tell
you. I jumped over a fence into the garden, and snatchin’ up a rake
commenced to scrape at her, and finally the teeth caught in her dress,
and then I had a pooty good hold so long as Sal was good for it. Spence
got hold of another rope that was danglin’ around, so between us we got
her down the second time. Then I sung out to Spence, ‘Spence,’ ses I,
‘climb into yer basket and let’s be off, or the hull town will be here
and stop us gwine.’ So we clim’ into our baskets and flung out Sal’s
flatirons, that we had for ballast, and up we shot like a spark up a
chimney. I hollered back to Sal to put the hog out of pain and stop the
squeakin’, and the last I seed of her as we went round the gable, she
was a whackin’ him over the head with the back of an ax, and he was a
hollerin’ wuss and wuss.
“The wind took the balloon over a swamp back of the village, where no
person seemed to see us, and then the world began to drop away pooty
nicely. ’Twant long till I heered Spence callin’ out, mi’ty skeered
like:—
[Illustration: “LET ME GIT OUT!”]
“‘I guess, Sam, you mout as well land her and let me git out.’
“‘Are you afeered, Spence?’ ses I, jest that way.
“‘No,’ he answered. ‘I arn’t afeered, but I reckon my fam’ly would be
mi’ty uneasy about this time if they knowed whar I was, and I begin to
feel pooty sowlicitous about ’em.’
“‘This yer thing is somethin’ like law,’ I ses, ‘when yer’ into her
you’ve got to keep goin’ till somethin’ gins out. She hasn’t got a rope
a holdin’ of her down now, Spence, and as for yer’ fam’ly, I reckon
the’re a mi’ty sight safer than you be, so if you have any spare
sowlicitude, you had better be a tuckin’ it onto yourself. ‘Sides,’ I
contin’ed, ‘I hain’t studied into the lettin’ down part of it half so
much as into the rizin’.’
“‘Jerusalem!’ he shouted. ‘I thought you war famil’ar with the hull
thing or I’d have as soon thought of gwine up in a whirlwind.’
“‘I fancy I do know considerable about it,’ I ses.
“‘Then why can’t you stop her right here?’ he hollered, lookin’ up,
pooty pale.
“‘I cal’late we’ve got to keep ascendin’ while the gas holds out,’ I
answered.
“‘Thunder and lightnin’!’ he hollered, jest that way, ‘and what are you
agwine to do arter the gas gins out?’
“‘I reckon,’ ses I, ‘we’ll come down agin.’
“‘A flukin’?’ he asked.
“‘Perhaps so,’ ses I. ‘I cal’late we’ll come down faster than we’re
gwine up, but I’m hopin’ to catch an undercurrent of a’r that will sweep
us along, and let us down sort of gently.’
“Just as we war talkin’ somethin’ gin a whoppin’ crack overhead, and she
began to drop down by the run pooty lively.
“‘What’s that?’ shouted Spence. ‘I think I hear a sort of tearin’ noise
up thar; ain’t somethin’ ginnin’ out?’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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