Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and PictureCox, Palmer
General
Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and Picture
Cox, Palmer
Canadian wit and humor
Now, as I gaze out upon the street, I mark the slow approach of the
pound-keeper’s dingy cart. Ever and anon it comes to a sudden halt, and
skirmishers are deployed on each side to search the alley-ways and lanes
along the route. Hark! what cry is this that comes quavering forth from
that shaky prison? A bark? No, never a bark, but a quavering bleat from
the pale lips of a poor old goat. Alas! poor goat.
It, too, was evidently straying about unlawfully, in some one’s garden,
perhaps, or stripping the posters off the fence before the paste was
dry, or the bill-sticker a block away, and in consequence he is now
occupying a position that, however exalted it may be in one sense, makes
him feel very ill at ease all the same.
His fellow prisoners are dogs of every breed under the sun.
There is no discrimination in that moving prison, no separate cells. The
full blood setter pup fares no better than the worthless poodle that
couldn’t smell a quail a yard distant unless it was roasting. The big,
sour, surly mastiff, with blood-shot eyes and pendent jowl, who long has
been the acknowledged champion of a block, and in his day lacerated many
a paw, hasn’t even a growl to offer, but crouches side by side with the
poor maimed and mongrel cur that for years has been racking through life
on three legs.
Still the dismal looking cart jolts along attracting the attention of
the passing crowds. Still the villainous-looking aids, who flank the
vehicle, trail their ready lariats, and dart exploring glances into
every nook and corner. And as I gaze, I marvel to see how quickly the
outlaws get a knowledge of its approach, and stand not upon the order of
their going, but precipitately leave for back yards and kitchens.
QUAINT EPITAPHS.
While strolling through an old cemetery this afternoon I was surprised
at the number of quaint epitaphs there to be found.
For a while I almost imagined myself rummaging among the old time-worn
tombstones in some English or Welsh burying-ground. Many are written in
verse, especially on the stones erected during a certain period,
extending over about ten years, which proves that during these years the
city had a tombstone poet among her citizens.
He was an odd genius, whoever he was, this graveyard rhymer.
One peculiarity seems to have been his coupling with the epitaph a brief
account of the manner in which the deceased party was taken off. The
first inscription which attracted my notice as odd, was chiseled upon a
large marble slab which leaned over the spot where a party who had borne
the ancient and honorable name of “Smith,” rested from his labors. The
obituary ran thus:—
“Smith ran to catch his fatted hog,
And carried the knife around;
He slipped and fell;
The hog is well,
But Smith is under ground.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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