Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and PictureCox, Palmer
General
Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and Picture
Cox, Palmer
Canadian wit and humor
Not less amusing or quaint was the verse inscribed upon the plain marble
slab which marked the resting-place of Mr. and Mrs. Barradier. The stone
was probably put up by some acquaintance of the deceased couple who knew
that their marriage had been anything but a happy one; the verse upon it
also informs the passer-by that they left no descendants to perform that
pious duty. It said—
“Released from worldly care and strife,
Here side and side lie man and wife;
And with the couple buried here
Expired the name of Barradier.”
MISTAKEN IDENTITY.
An amusing scene occurred this afternoon as I was coming up from the
post-office. It was a case of mistaken identity. It seems a somewhat
dissipated old Irish woman was deserted some weeks ago by her husband.
Through her domestic troubles and excessive drinking she at times
becomes quite crazy,—so much so that her friends have to keep a constant
watch over her to prevent her from doing mischief. She is very large and
powerful, and when in one of her tantrums is no easy person to manage.
It appears that when she has one of these crazy spells, she imagines she
recognizes her husband’s Milesian features in almost every face she
looks upon.
This afternoon, while the crazy fit was upon her, she escaped from her
keepers, and rushed into the street with dilated eyes and dishevelled
hair. With sleeves rolled above the elbows and clenched hands, she
charged up the street, looking right and left for some person on whom to
fasten.
She was indeed ripe for an encounter, and nearly the first person she
met was a prominent clergyman returning to his residence from the
Mercantile Library, with his newly selected book under his arm. She
stood for a moment directly in front of the minister, and riveted her
red optics upon his face in an inquiring stare, which soon kindled into
one of recognition.
Anticipating trouble, he attempted to pass around her and proceed
quietly on his way.
But she was too quick for him.
Reaching out her long bare arm, she brought it around like the boom of a
sloop, and with one wide sweep knocked his hat spinning to the sidewalk
at her feet.
[Illustration: THE CLERGYMAN IN LIMBO.]
He stooped to pick it up again, and while bent in the act, she seized
him by the hair with both hands, and giving a guttural laugh, not unlike
the self-satisfied croak of a down east bullfrog, exclaimed:—
“Ah! Barney, ye galavantin’ spalpeen! ye can’t desave me wid yer
stove-pipe! So ye’d dezart the wife o’ yer boosome, would ye? ah, ha!
come home wid me now, or I’ll be afther takin’ your durty ould scalp
along wid me!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account