Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and PictureCox, Palmer
General
Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and Picture
Cox, Palmer
Canadian wit and humor
“‘I lost all my worms back thar, while standin’ on a log,’ ses the
parson, ‘and will have to fall back on you for some.’ The old snipe
grumbled out somethin’ about bein’ out of all patience with people who
war so fool careless. Arter a while he took out the rag he kept the
worms in, and although he had quite a large knot of ’em, he gin the
parson jest one, and dead at that! It’s so! You may laugh, but I seed
it. When he was a-pickin’ it out and handin’ it to him, and when Parson
Bodfish was a-stickin’ the hook into him, he lay thar and took it as
e-a-s-y, and never squirmed or objected the least. You’d hev thought it
was a link of vermicelli the parson had picked out of a soup plate.
“When Parson Bodfish took it from him, he held it between his finger and
thumb a while, jest that way, and I swow I felt solid sure he was agwine
to slap it back into old Shellbark’s face.
[Illustration: OPENING HIS HEART.]
“He didn’t, though. But he did look as if he’d like to, mi’ty well. He
stood thar and stared him in the face as if actewally in doubt about his
being the person he divided with in the mornin’. Arter a while he baited
his hook and started in right thar. He had amazin’ good luck, too, with
one bait. He hauled out four floppin’ great chubs, one right arter the
other, and durin’ the same time old Shellbark didn’t get a bite from
anythin’ but musquiters. He seemed just tearin’ mad over it, too, I can
tell you.
“He stood thar a-floppin’ and a-scratchin’ and a-slingin’ of his line
out the full length, tryin’ on all sides continewally, but to no
purpose.
“At last, thinkin’ he had a fish when he didn’t, he switched up his line
so spiteful it caught in a tree-top more than fifteen feet above his
head; and while he was a-gawpin’ up thar, jerkin’ the line, and stampin’
round, he sot his foot flat onto his string of fish that war layin’ thar
on the bank, and squashed the in’ards out of nigh every one of ’em.
Between thar slipperiness and his confusion, hurryin’ to git off ’em
before they were sp’iled, he fell and slid away down the bank, head
fust, a-clawin’ and a-kickin’ jest like a skeer’d alligator. Only he
chanced to strike ag’inst an old root that was stickin’ up at the margin
of the river, he’d have gone plum to the bottom for sartain.
“Unfortunately the last fish Parson Bodfish caught had swallered the
bait, so he ses to me kind of low, ‘Dolphus, let’s see if we can’t skeer
up a lizard, or somethin’ that’ll do for bait when a man’s in a pinch.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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