Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and PictureCox, Palmer
General
Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and Picture
Cox, Palmer
Canadian wit and humor
There was quite an excitement in the town before I left. A fire broke
out in an ash barrel situated in the rear yard of the house at which I
was stopping, and for a time threatened to destroy the ashes. There is
no estimating the amount of damage the citizens might have suffered if
the fire had spread to a wash-tub that stood close by, and which at the
time contained a portion of the town’s washing. Business was generally
suspended, and stock in the insurance companies went down immediately.
The citizens breathed more freely, however, when the efficient and
energetic Fire Department turned out promptly as one man, and hastened
to the city water-works, situated on a slight eminence in the centre of
the town, and, turning on the water, succeeded in extinguishing the
flames. The only damage done was the partial burning of the barrel and
the scorching of the wash-tub and five dog-houses. The dogs were lying
under the kitchen stove at the time, and escaped injury.
[Illustration: THE FIRE DEPARTMENT.]
A TRIP ACROSS THE BAY.
I took a trip across the water this afternoon. The bay was so rough the
ferry-boat could scarcely make her trips. The passengers were nearly all
sea-sick, and, elbow to elbow, leaned over the side of the vessel. One
gentleman, while gazing into the sea, lost his hat overboard, but he was
so taken up with internal affairs that he cared little for outward
appearances, as one could readily observe.
I reached my destination, and was convinced that all the sorrows are not
on the sea. I saw a poor old woman thrown into terrible disorder by a
kick from the cow she was milking in her own yard. Judging by the
quantity of milk lying around loose, she must have been nearly through
her task, and was probably in the very act of complimenting the cow for
her generosity, when the spiteful animal gave the pail a hoist
completely over the woman’s head, like a huge helmet, while the lacteal
fluid ran down her body. The pail seemed to stick, despite her efforts
to remove it.
[Illustration: PEERING INTO THE DEPTHS.]
As I looked back, I could see her groping toward the house, her visage
still concealed in the blue bucket. She did look odd enough, as she felt
her way up the steps, decorated with that novel head-dress.
[Illustration: GOOD-BYE.]
There is a youth in this suburban town who bids fair to be a second
Landseer. As I passed his father’s residence, I saw the young aspirant
at work sketching from nature.
He had the foot of a little cur fast in the jaws of a steel-trap staked
in the orchard. The artist sat at a short distance sketching the poor
beast, as it stood on three legs gazing at the heavens and crying
piteously. He was eagerly striving to get the expression of pain upon
the dog’s face, and by the grin upon his own countenance I judged he was
succeeding.
[Illustration: SKETCHING FROM NATURE.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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