Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and PictureCox, Palmer
General
Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and Picture
Cox, Palmer
Canadian wit and humor
Then said this little pup,
At its master looking up:
“I know, little master, you are cute, cute, cute;
But if you will allow
Such a question, tell me, now,
What the dickens do you want with a brute, brute, brute?
What the dickens do _you_ want with a brute?”
Then the little man did stare,
And up rose his little hair;
And his cheeks with fear grew pale, pale, pale,
As he said: “I do propose,
Soon as you have found your nose,
To kill by the dozen little quail, quail, quail—
To kill by the dozen little quail.”
At this the puppy grinned,
Like a mischief-making fiend,
As he whined: “You cannot come it upon me, me, me.
You would have me lie around
In a back-yard, like a hound,
And become a paradise for the flea, flea, flea—
And become a paradise for the flea.”
When the toil of day had flown,
Little man, with little bone,
Went out where the little dog ought to be, be, be;
He whistled, and he called,
He patted, and he bawled,
But nary little dog could he see, see, see—
But nary little dog could he see.
Next day he chanced to stop
By a sausage maker’s shop,
And something that he saw made him holler, holler, holler;
For there in the street,
All bloody, at his feet,
Lay his poor little dog’s leather collar, collar, collar—
Lay his poor little dog’s leather collar.
[Illustration]
ST. PATRICK’S DAY.
Erin go bragh! St. Patrick’s day is upon us, and the city seems wrapped
in a “mantle of green,” so numerous are the Irish flags flying in the
breeze.
From hovel roof, and church of size
Alike, the harp and sun-burst flies!
The ear of morn is stunned with the bray of at least a dozen blatant
bands, as they discourse Old Erin’s soul-stirring airs. It is an easy
matter for a person to imagine himself sitting by some sheeling door in
“County Kerry” instead of this great American city by the sea. The
Ancient Order of Hibernians and the Fenians are out in full force, with
clean-boiled shirts and soap-washed faces. Marshals charge around upon
their caparisoned steeds like real heroes, and sitting gracefully as a
sack of potatoes upon the back of a spavined mule trotting over a
corduroy road. Evidently some of them have never before bent over
anything that came nigher to an equine than a saw-horse. It is plain
Those who always rode, now ride the more,
And those now ride who never rode before.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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