Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and PictureCox, Palmer
General
Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and Picture
Cox, Palmer
Canadian wit and humor
“And while exploring down some ditch,
Beneath a scorching ray,
Upon a sandy bar they hitch,
And bake as dry as hay.
“Had they but waited till the tail
Had from their body dropp’d—
And in its stead four legs shot forth—
Away they might have hopp’d.”
Thus while he sat above the pool,
Commenting on his lot,
He heard a truant boy from school
Come whistling to the spot.
“Ah ha!” quoth he, “I hear, I see
An ancient foe of mine;
He stones will throw, that well I know,
And straight ones I divine.
“The sparrow on the picket fence,
The squirrel on the limb,
The swallow flying overhead,
Alike look out for him.
“There are some hands I scarcely fear,
So ill a stone they guide;
But when Bob Stevenson is near
’Tis meet that I should hide.”
So, prompted by the fearful thought,
He leaped in with a thud,
And diving to the bottom, sought
Concealment in the mud.
Now burrow, burrow, little frog,
As you will trouble find;
Think not because your eyes are shut
That every one is blind.
Then burrow deeper, deeper far,
Leave not one claw in view;
Or, swifter than a falling star,
A stone will cleave you through.
“While here,” said he, “I’m safe enough,
And here I’ll peaceful lie
Until that little whistling rough
Has passed the water by.”
[Illustration: BOB’S ATTACK.]
But, ah! while he did reckon that
The host was not around,—
The youngster saw him quit the log,
And soon a stone was found.
He stood beside the circling pond,
And gazed a while below—
The tell-tale mud the frog disturbed
Rose from the bottom slow.
But, ah! for childhood’s searching eyes!
What can escape their darts?
Projecting from the mud he spies
The croaker’s hinder parts.
“Ho! ho!” then laughed this cruel boy,
As downward he did stare,
“If you from trouble would be free
Of every part take care.”
Then down he sent the ready stone,
Nor went it down in vain—
Dead as the missile that was thrown,
The frog came up again.
Along the river’s ferny banks
The frogs still chant their lays
While floating on his native pool
That stone-killed frog decays.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
ALL FOOLS’ DAY.
This is “all fools’ day,” and judging by the number of people who are
passing along the sidewalk with strings and rags dangling from their
coat tails, the custom of making people appear ridiculous is not
obsolete. What delight the youngsters take in covering a few bricks with
an old hat, and leaving it temptingly upon the sidewalk, while they
withdraw into some nook to watch the bait and halloo at the person who
is thoughtless enough to kick it.
[Illustration: SOLD.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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