Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and Picture — John Shaqi
Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and PictureCox, Palmer
General
Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and Picture
Cox, Palmer
Canadian wit and humor
But the injured man answered him sorrowfully, saying, “Nay, but my wife
hath done this thing!” and bowing his head between his knees he wept
bitterly, even as David wept when he learned that Absalom had perished
in the boughs of the great oak. And when the surgeon had poured oil upon
the wound, and sewed it together—even as a housewife seweth the rent in
a garment—and spread plasters upon his head in divers ways, he arose and
journeyed to the Hall of Justice, which is by the Plaza, and entered a
complaint against the woman.
And it came to pass when the magistrates and the wise men of the place
heard his complaint, they looked upon him as a person altogether given
over to falsehoods, and they questioned him, saying: “How may we know if
ye indeed speak the truth in our ears.” And removing the bandage from
his head, with which the surgeon had wrapped it round, he answered and
spake unto them, saying: “Ye ask for proof, and behold! I give it you!”
And when they drew nigh and looked upon his head they saw that it was
covered over with plasters, insomuch that it resembled a bolt of linen
fresh from the loom, and they were sore displeased because of the
assault. So they called together four men, the chosen officers of the
force, and commanded them to arrest the woman, saying: “Take ye the
woman into custody, and lodge her in prison, that on the morrow we may
sit in judgment over her.”
So these four officers, named Murry, the brave; and Flynn, styled the
“blinker,” and Curran, and Flaherty,—surnamed the “beat”—armed
themselves with pistols, and clubs, and knives, and went forth to arrest
the woman. And a great crowd followed after, for they said among
themselves, “Surely some murder hath been done.” So when they had come
nigh to the house they laid plans how they might surround it; and this
was the manner of their approach toward the house. Murry on the east
side; and Flynn, styled the “blinker,” on the west side; and Curran on
the north side; and Flaherty, surnamed the “beat” on the south side. So
they did compass the house about and enter it; and this was the manner
of their entrance. One by the front door, and one by the back door, and
one by the window that looked out at the west side of the house, and one
by the window that looked out at the east side of the house; and they
did converge and meet in the centre. And they found the hammer and the
blood thereon; and the horse-shoe and the nail sticking therein; but
they found not the woman. And they searched the house, beginning at the
cellar, and ascending even up to the loft, but be it known unto you, the
woman had fled, and her whereabouts remaineth a secret to this day.
[Illustration]
AN EVENING WITH SCIENTISTS.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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