Constance did not stir. For a moment she remained as if petrified, still
listening, still waiting. But only deep silence arose from the abyss. She
could merely hear the rain pelting on the glass roof with renewed rage.
And thereupon she fled, turned into the passage, re-entered her
drawing-room. There she collected and questioned herself. Had she desired
that abominable thing? No, her will had had nought to do with it. Most
certainly it had been paralyzed, prevented from acting. If it had been
possible for the thing to occur, it had occurred quite apart from her,
for assuredly she had been absent. Absent, that word reassured her. Yes,
indeed, that was the case, she had been absent. All her past life spread
out behind her, faultless, pure of any evil action. Never had she sinned,
never until that day had any consciousness of guilt weighed upon her
conscience. An honest and virtuous woman, she had remained upright amidst
all the excesses of her husband. An impassioned mother, she had been
ascending her calvary ever since her son's death. And this recollection
of Maurice alone drew her for a moment from her callousness, choked her
with a rising sob, as if in that direction lay her madness, the vainly
sought explanation of the crime. Vertigo again fell upon her, the thought
of her dead son and of the other being master in his place, all her
perverted passion for that only son of hers, the despoiled prince, all
her poisoned, fermenting rage which had unhinged and maddened her, even
to the point of murder. Had that monstrous vegetation growing within her
reached her brain then? A rush of blood suffices at times to bedim a
conscience. But she obstinately clung to the view that she had been
absent; she forced back her tears and remained frigid. No remorse came to
her. It was done, and 'twas good that it should be done. It was
necessary. She had not pushed him, he himself had fallen. Had she not
been there he would have fallen just the same. And so since she had not
been there, since both her brain and her heart had been absent, it did
not concern her. And ever and ever resounded the words which absolved her
and chanted her victory; he was dead, and would never possess the works.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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