He said no more, for he realized that nothing would prevail over that
thirst for liberty which she felt in the depths of her being. With a
gesture he expressed his sadness, but he was neither indignant nor angry
with her, for others had made her what she was.
"Well, it's understood, you won't be forced to feed it," resumed Madame
Bourdieu, attempting a final effort. "But it isn't praiseworthy to
abandon the child. Why not trust it to Madame here, who would put it out
to nurse, so that you would be able to take it back some day, when you
have found work? It wouldn't cost much, and no doubt the father would
pay."
This time Norine flew into a passion. "He! pay? Ah! you don't know him.
It's not that the money would inconvenience him, for he's a millionnaire.
But all he wants is to see the little one disappear. If he had dared he
would have told me to kill it! Just ask that gentleman if I speak the
truth. You see that he keeps silent! And how am I to pay when I haven't a
copper, when to-morrow I shall be cast out-of-doors, perhaps, without
work and without bread. No, no, a thousand times no, I can't!"
Then, overcome by an hysterical fit of despair, she burst into sobs. "I
beg you, leave me in peace. For the last fortnight you have been
torturing me with that child, by keeping him near me, with the idea that
I should end by nursing him. You bring him to me, and set him on my
knees, so that I may look at him and kiss him. You are always worrying me
with him, and making him cry with the hope that I shall pity him and take
him to my breast. But, _mon Dieu_! can't you understand that if I turn my
head away, if I don't want to kiss him or even to see him, it is because
I'm afraid of being caught and loving him like a big fool, which would be
a great misfortune both for him and for me? He'll be far happier by
himself! So, I beg you, let him be taken away at once, and don't torture
me any more."
Sobbing violently, she again sank back in bed, and buried her dishevelled
head in the pillows.
La Couteau had remained waiting, mute and motionless, at the foot of the
bedstead. In her gown of dark woollen stuff and her black cap trimmed
with yellow ribbons she retained the air of a peasant woman in her Sunday
best. And she strove to impart an expression of compassionate good-nature
to her long, avaricious, false face. Although it seemed to her unlikely
that business would ensue, she risked a repetition of her customary
speech.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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