Peter and Mary were savages, although they would have used strange
language had any one called them so. They did not display their
genealogical tree upon their cottage wall. Had they done so it would
have shown, had it been accurate, that they were descended from the
Gubbingses, who, as every man knows, were as disreputable a set of
savages as have ever lived. This pedigree would have shown that a
certain young Gubbings had once run away with a certain Miss Gubbings to
whom he was attached, and with whom he was probably related more or less
intimately. Fearing capture, as they had conveyed from the gorge of the
Lyd as much of the portable property of their connections as they could
conveniently handle, the young couple assumed the name of Tavy from the
river beside which they settled. They had a number of little Tavies,
who, it was said, founded the villages of Peter Tavy and Mary Tavy,
which good Christians subsequently canonised; and who, by intermarriage
without much respect for the tie of consanguinity, or for such a form of
religious superstition as a marriage service--if, indeed, they had ever
heard of such a thing--became in time a rival band of Scythians almost
as formidable to law-abiding commoners as their relations in Gubbings
Land. Peter and Mary were direct descendants of these pleasant people.
They didn't know it, however. It was just as well they were in
ignorance, because knowledge of the truth might have turned their heads.
The chief of the Gubbings was a king in his own land; therefore Peter
and Mary would certainly have boasted that they were of royal blood; and
Peter would assuredly have told his neighbours that if every man had his
rights he would be occupying the throne of England. He would have gone
on acquiring knowledge concerning those things which appertain unto
ancient families, and no doubt would have conferred upon himself,
although not upon Mary, a coat-of-arms such as a sheep in one quarter, a
bullock in another, a bag of gold in the third, and in the fourth a
peaceful commoner's head duly decollated, with the motto: "My wealth is
in other men's goods." Peter would have become an intolerable nuisance
had he known of his royal ancestry.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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