Comedy plays; English drama -- Early modern and Elizabethan, 1500-1600
_Chat._ Yea, but that rugged colt, that whore, that Tib of thine,
Said plainly thy cock was stol'n, and in my house was eaten.
That lying cut is lost that she is not swinged and beaten,
And yet for all my good name it were a small amends!
I pick not this gear, hear'st thou, out of my fingers' ends;
But he that heard it told me, who thou of late didst name,
Diccon, whom all men knows, it was the very same.
_Baily._ This is the case: you lost your nee'le about the doors,
And she answers again, she hase no cock of yours;
Thus in your talk and action, from that you do intend,
She is whole five mile wide, from that she doth defend.
Will you say she hath your cock?
_Gammer._ No, marry, sir, that chill not.
_Baily._ Will you confess her nee'le?
_Chat._ Will I? no, sir, will I not.
_Baily._ Then there lieth all the matter.
_Gammer._ Soft, master, by the way!
Ye know she could do little, and she could not say nay.
_Baily._ Yea, but he that made one lie about your cock-stealing,
Will not stick to make another, what time lies be in dealing.
I ween the end will prove this brawl did first arise
Upon no other ground but only Diccon's lies.
_Chat._ Though some be lies, as you belike have espied them,
Yet other some be true, by proof I have well tried them.
_Baily._ What other thing beside this, dame Chat?
_Chat._ Marry, sir, even this.
The tale I told before, the self-same tale it was his;
He gave me, like a friend, warning against my loss,
Else had my hens be stol'n each one, by God's cross!
He told me Hodge would come, and in he came indeed,
But as the matter chanced, with greater haste than speed.
This truth was said, and true was found, as truly I report.
_Baily._ If Doctor Rat be not deceived, it was of another sort.
_Doctor Rat._ By God's mother, thou and he be a couple of subtle foxes!
Between you and Hodge I bear away the boxes.
Did not Diccon appoint the place, where thou should'st stand to meet
him?
_Chat._ Yes, by the mass, and if he came, bad me not stick to spit him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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