General Bounce; Or, The Lady and the LocustsWhyte-Melville, G. J. (George John)
General
General Bounce; Or, The Lady and the Locusts
Whyte-Melville, G. J. (George John)
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
It is curious to observe at what an early age the different instincts
of the sexes develop themselves in children. Little Miss can scarcely
waddle before she shoulders a doll, which she calls her baby, and on
which she lavishes much maternal care, not without certain wholesome
correction. From her earliest youth, the abstract idea of wife and
motherhood is familiar to her mind; and to be married, though she
knows not what it is, as natural and inevitable a destiny as to learn
music and have a governess. Young Master, on the contrary, has no idea
of being a “pater familias.” His notion of being grown up is totally
unconnected with housekeeping. When “he is a man, he means to be a
soldier, or a sailor, or a pastry-cook--he will have a gun and
hunters, and go all day to the stable, and eat as much as he chooses,
and drink port wine like papa;” but to bring up children of his own,
and live in one place, is the very last thing he dreams of. “Cousin
Charlie” entertained the usual notions of his kind. Although an
orphan, he had never known the want of a parent--uncle and aunt
Kettering supplying him with as kind and indulgent a father and mother
as a spoilt little boy could desire. And although he had his childish
sorrows, such as parting from Blanche, going to school, being whipped
according to his deserts when there, and thus smuggled through that
amusing work, the Latin Grammar; yet, altogether, his life was as
happy as any other child’s of his own age, on whom health, and love,
and plenty had shone from the day of its birth.
Of course, old John Kettering sent him to Eton, that most aristocratic
of schools, where Charlie learnt to swim--no mean accomplishment;
arrived at much perfection in his “wicket-keeping” and “hitting to the
leg,” as, indeed, he deserved, for the powers of application he
evinced in the study of cricket; was taught to “feather an oar” in a
method which the London watermen pronounced extremely inefficient; and
acquired a knack of construing Horace into moderately bad English,
with a total disregard for the ideas, habits, prejudices, and
intentions of that courtly bard. Of course, too, he was destined for
the army. With _his_ prospects, in what other profession could he get
through his allowance, and acquire gentlemanlike habits of
extravagance in what is termed good society? Old Kettering wanted to
make his nephew a gentleman--that was it. When asked how Charlie was
getting on at Eton, and what he learnt there, the uncle invariably
replied, “Learn, sir! why, he’ll learn to be a gentleman.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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