They were silent. Grief is the final knowledge of time. When one first
learns that it can never be turned backward upon itself to permit the
correction of past sins and the rightings of wrongs transfixed and
forever unalterable. Grief is the frantic, futile beating of hands
against a barrier without substance, both obscenely unreal and yet the
only reality. Grief is the knowledge that we cannot step backwards
before the death of loved ones and see those precious half-forgotten
dream faces once again. Grief is the knowledge that time is immutable.
Outside the Richardson Dome, the wind was changing. It could now neither
support the life that was nor the life that would be, and it howled in
melancholy and insensate anguish its loneliness and longing to the
eternal and ever-changing pattern of the stars.
* * * * *
The Committee concluded their interviews with an old-line corporal. He
had just short of thirty years service and had several times traveled
the two-way escalator of non-commissioned rank from master sergeant to
private. He was perhaps typical of many of the older soldiers. His love
of the Corps was expressed by his loyalty to it; his hatred of the Corps
was expressed by his inability to abide by its regulations.
"You knew Sergeant Schuster very well?" Mr. Tucker asked.
"He was a new man," the corporal said. "He got on just before lift-off.
A week, two weeks, something like that. I knew him, I guess. He was one
of them kind that was always thinking. And like you know, sir, thinking
ain't too good for a soldier. I've known a lot of guys like that in my
time. You know what I mean? They're not cut out for the Corps."
"He talked to you quite a bit?"
The corporal turned to face Mr. Ryan. "He was always talking, sir. He
was a regular nut. I thought for a while he was queer. He had all those
crazy ideas."
"Like what, Corporal?"
"Oh, like--well, you know." The corporal hesitated and rummaged his
memory without conspicuous success. "Sunsets," he said rather
emphatically. "Talked about sunsets. Talked about just _anything_.
Called me out back on Earth to look at a sunset once, I remember."
"What did he think about killing the natives?" Mr. Wallace asked.
The question alerted the mechanism which produced the almost-Pavlovian
loyalty response.
"We didn't kill no natives," the corporal said. "They just died when we
changed the air. Tough."
He looked at Mr. Wallace and then into the silence around him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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