"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional ladyLoos, Anita
General
"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional lady
Loos, Anita
Diary fiction; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Millionaires -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
So Major Falcon was really quite interested in everything I talked
about, because he said it was quite a co-instance because this District
Attorney, who is called Mr. Bartlett, is now working for the government
of America and he is on his way to a place called Vienna on some
business for Uncle Sam that is quite a great secret and Mr. Falcon
would like very much to know what the secret is, because the Government
in London sent him to America especially to find out what it was. Only
of course Mr. Bartlett does not know who Major Falcon is, because it is
such a great secret, but Major Falcon can tell me, because he knows who
he can trust. So Major Falcon says he thinks a girl like I ought to
forgive and forget what Mr. Bartlett called me and he wants to bring us
together and he says he thinks Mr. Bartlett would talk to me quite a
lot when he really gets to know me and I forgive him for that time in
Little Rock. Because it would be quite romantic for Mr. Bartlett and I
to become friendly, and gentlemen who work for Uncle Sam generally like
to become romantic with girls. So he is going to bring us together on
the deck after dinner tonight and I am going to forgive him and talk
with him quite a lot, because why should a girl hold a grudge against a
gentleman who had to do it. So Major Falcon brought me quite a large
bottle of perfume and a quite cute imitation of quite a large size dog
in the little shop which is on board the boat. I mean Major Falcon
really knows how to cheer a girl up quite a lot and so tonight I am
going to make it all up with Mr. Bartlett.
April 14th:
Well Mr. Bartlett and I made it all up last night and we are going to
be the best of friends and talk quite a lot. So when I went down to my
room quite late Major Falcon came down to see if I and Mr. Bartlett
were really going to be friends because he said a girl with brains like
I ought to have lots to talk about with a gentleman with brains like
Mr. Bartlett who knows all of Uncle Sam’s secrets.
So I told Major Falcon how Mr. Bartlett thinks that he and I seem to be
like a play, because all the time he was calling me all those names in
Little Rock he really thought I was. So when he found out that I turned
out not to be, he said he always thought that I only used my brains
against gentlemen and really had quite a cold heart. But now he thinks
I ought to write a play about how he called me all those names in
Little Rock and then, after seven years, we became friendly.
So I told Major Falcon that I told Mr. Bartlett I would like to write
the play but I really did not have time as it takes quite a lot of time
to write my diary and read good books. So Mr. Bartlett did not know
that I read books which is quite a co-instance because he reads them
to. So he is going to bring me a book of philosophy this afternoon
called “Smile, Smile, Smile” which all the brainy senators in
Washington are reading which cheers you up quite a lot.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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