"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional ladyLoos, Anita
General
"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional lady
Loos, Anita
Diary fiction; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Millionaires -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
Last night there was quite a maskerade ball on the ship which was
really all for the sake of charity because most of the sailors seem to
have orphans which they get from going on the ocean when the sea is
very rough. So they took up quite a collection and Mr. Bartlett made
quite a long speech in favor of orphans especially when their parents
are sailors. Mr. Bartlett really likes to make speeches quite a lot. I
mean he even likes to make speeches when he is all alone with a girl
when they are walking up and down a deck. But the maskerade ball was
quite cute and one gentleman really looked almost like an imitation of
Mr. Chaplin. So Dorothy and I really did not want to go to the ball but
Mr. Bartlett bought us two scarfs at the little store which is on the
ship so we tied them around our hips and everyone said we made quite a
cute Carmen. So Mr. Bartlett and Major Falcon and the tennis champion
were the Judges. So Dorothy and I won the prizes. I mean I really hope
I do not get any more large size imitations of a dog as I have three
now and I do not see why the Captain does not ask Mr. Cartier to have a
jewelry store on the ship as it is really not much fun to go shopping
on a ship with gentlemen, and buy nothing but imitations of dogs.
So after we won the prizes I had an engagement to go up on the top of
the deck with Mr. Bartlett as it seems he likes to look at the
moonlight quite a lot. So I told him to go up and wait for me and I
would be up later as I promised a dance to Mr. Mountginz. So he asked
me how long I would be dancing till, but I told him to wait up there
and he would find out. So Mr. Mountginz and I had quite a delightful
dance and champagne until Major Falcon found us. Because he was looking
for me and he said I really should not keep Mr. Bartlett waiting. So I
went up on the deck and Mr. Bartlett was up there waiting for me and it
seems that he really is madly in love with me because he did not sleep
a wink since we became friendly. Because he never thought that I really
had brains but now that he knows it, it seems that he has been looking
for a girl like me for years, and he said that really the place for me
when he got back home was Washington d. c. where he lives. So I told
him I thought a thing like that was nearly always the result of fate.
So he wanted me to get off the ship tomorrow at France and take the
same trip that he is taking to Vienna as it seems that Vienna is in
France and if you go on to England you go to far. But I told him that I
could not because I thought that if he was really madly in love with me
he would take a trip to London instead. But he told me that he had
serious business in Vienna that was a very, very great secret. But I
told him I did not believe it was business but that it really was some
girl, because what business could be so important? So he said it was
business for the United States government at Washington and he could
not tell anybody what it was.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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