"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional ladyLoos, Anita
General
"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional lady
Loos, Anita
Diary fiction; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Millionaires -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
So then we went back to the table and I almost have to admit that
Dorothy is in the right about Piggie because he really likes to talk
quite a lot and he is always talking about a friend of his who was
quite a famous King in London called King Edward. So Piggie said he
would never never forget the jokes King Edward was always saying and he
would never forget one time they were all on a yacht and they were all
sitting at a table and King Edward got up and said “I don’t care what
you gentlemen do—I’m going to smoke a cigar.” So then Piggie laughed
very, very loud. So of course I laughed very, very loud and I told
Piggie he was wonderful the way he could tell jokes. I mean you can
always tell when to laugh because Piggie always laughs first.
So in the afternoon a lot of lady friends of Mrs. Weeks heard about me
buying the diamond tiara and called us up and asked us to their house
to tea so Dorothy and I went and we took a gentleman Dorothy met in the
lobby who is very, very good looking but he is only an English ballroom
dancer in a cafe when he has a job.
So we went to tea to a lady’s house called Lady Elmsworth and what she
has to sell we Americans seems to be a picture of her father painted in
oil paint who she said was a whistler. But I told her my own father was
a whistler and used to whistle all of the time and I did not even have
a picture of him but every time he used to go to Little Rock I asked
him to go to the photographers but he did not go.
So then we met a lady called Lady Chizzleby that wanted us to go to her
house to tea but we told her that we really did not want to buy
anything. But she said that she did not have anything to sell but she
wanted to borrow five pounds. So we did not go and I am really glad
that Mr. Eisman did not come to London as all the English ladys would
ask him to tea and he would have a whole ship load of shell flowers and
dogs and anteek pictures that do nobody any good.
So last night Piggie and I and Dorothy and the dancer who is called
Gerald went to the Kit Kat Club as Gerald had nothing better to do
because he is out of a job. So Dorothy and I had quite a little quarrel
because I told Dorothy that she was wasting quite a lot of time going
with any gentleman who is out of a job but Dorothy is always getting to
really like somebody and she will never learn how to act. I mean I
always seem to think that when a girl really enjoys being with a
gentleman, it puts her to quite a disadvantage and no real good can
come of it.
Well tonight is going to be quite a night because Major Falcon is going
to take Dorothy and I to a dance at a lady’s house tonight to meet the
Prince of Wales. And now I must get ready to see Piggie because he and
I seem to be getting to be quite good friends even if he has not sent
me any flowers yet.
April 19th:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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