"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional ladyLoos, Anita
General
"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional lady
Loos, Anita
Diary fiction; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Millionaires -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
So then she said that if it was necessary, she would tell the judge
that Sir Francis Beekman went out of his mind when he gave it to me. So
Dorothy said “Lady, if you go into a court and if the judge gets a good
look at you, he will think that Sir Francis Beekman was out of his mind
35 years ago.” So then Lady Francis Beekman said she knew what kind of
a person she had to deal with and she would not deal with any such a
person because she said it hurt her dignity. So Dorothy said “Lady, if
we hurt your dignity like you hurt our eyesight I hope for your sake,
you are a Christian science.” So that seemed to make Lady Francis
Beekman angry. So she said she would turn it all over to her soliciter.
So when she went out she tripped over quite a long train which she had
on her skirt and she nearly fell down. So Dorothy leaned out of the
door and Dorothy called down the hall and said, “Take a tuck in that
skirt Isabel, its 1925.” So I really felt quite depressed because I
felt as if our whole morning was really very unrefined just because we
had to mix with such an unrefined lady as Lady Francis Beekman.
April 30th:
So sure enough yesterday morning Lady Francis Beekman’s solicitor came.
Only he really was not a solicitor, but his name was on a card and it
seems his name is Mons. Broussard and it seems that he is an advocat
because an advocat is a lawyer in the French landguage. So Dorothy and
I were getting dressed and we were in our negligay as usual when there
was quite a loud knock on the door and before we could even say come in
he jumped right into the room. So it seems that he is of French
extraction. I mean Lady Francis Beekman’s solicitor can really squeal
just like a taxi driver. I mean he was squealing quite loud when he
jumped into the room and he kept right on squealing. So Dorothy and I
rushed into the parlor and Dorothy looked at him and Dorothy said,
“This town has got to stop playing jokes on us every morning” because
our nerves could not stand it. So Mons. Broussard handed us his card
and he squealed and squealed and he really waved his arms in the air
quite a lot. So Dorothy said He gives quite a good imitation of the
Moulan Rouge, which is really a red wind mill, only Dorothy said he
makes more noise and he runs on his own wind. So we stood and watched
him for quite a long while, but he seemed to get quite monotonous after
quite a long while because he was always talking in French, which
really means nothing to us. So Dorothy said “Lets see if 25 francs will
stop him, because if 5 francs will stop a taxi driver, 25 francs ought
to stop an advocat.” Because he was making about 5 times as much noise
as a taxi driver and 5 times 5 is 25. So as soon as he heard us start
in to talk about francs he seemed to calm down quite a little. So
Dorothy got her pocket book and she gave him 25 francs. So then he
stopped squealing and he put it in his pocket, but then he got out
quite a large size handkerchief with purple elefants on it and he
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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