"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional ladyLoos, Anita
General
"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional lady
Loos, Anita
Diary fiction; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Millionaires -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
So then I told her that I thought Miss Chapman was jealous of her good
looks. So then she said that that was true, because Miss Chapman would
always make her wear hats that were made out of black horses hair
because horses hair does not weigh so much on a persons brain. So I
told her I was going to give her one of my hats that has got quite
large size roses on it. So then I got it out, but we could not get it
on her head because hats are quite small on account of hair being
bobbed. So I thought I would get the sissors and bob her head, but then
I thought I had done enough to her for one day.
So Henry’s mother said that I was really the most sunshine that she
ever had in all her life and when Henry came back to take his Mother up
to her room, she did not want to go. But after he got her away he
called me up on the telephone and he was qiute excited and he said he
wanted to ask me something that was very very important. So I said I
would see him tonight.
But now I have got to see Mr. Eisman because I have an idea about doing
something that is really very very important that has got to be done at
once.
May 31st:
Well I and Dorothy and Mr. Eisman are on a train going to a place
called Buda Pest. So I did not see Henry again before I left, but I
left him a letter. Because I thought it would be a quite good thing if
what he wanted to ask me he would have to write down, instead of asking
me, and he could not write it to me if I was in the same city that he
is in. So I told him in my letter that I had to leave in five minute’s
time because I found out that Dorothy was just on the verge of getting
very unreformed, and if I did not get her away, all I had done for her
would really go for nothing. So I told him to write down what he had to
say to me, and mail it to me at the Ritz hotel in Buda Pest. Because I
always seem to believe in the old addage, Say it in writing.
So it was really very easy to get Mr. Eisman to leave Vienna, because
yesterday he went out to see the button factory but it seems that all
of the people at the button factory were not at work but they were
giving a birthday party to some saint. So it seems that every time some
saint has a birthday they all stop work so they can give it a birthday
party. So Mr. Eisman looked at their calendar, and found out that some
saint or other was born practically every week in the year. So he has
decided that America is good enough for him.
So Henry will not be able to follow me to Buda Pest because his mother
is having treatments by Dr. Froyd and she seems to be a much more
difficult case than I seem to be. I mean it is quite hard for Dr.
Froyd, because she cannot seem to remember which is a dream and which
really happened to her. So she tells him everything, and he has to use
his judgement. I mean when she tells him that a very very handsome
young gentleman tried to flirt with her on Fifth Avenue, he uses his
judgement.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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