Caricatures and cartoons -- Great Britain; English wit and humor; English wit and humor, Pictorial
It was not long after this, that, seated in a coffee-room in Piccadilly,
my attention was drawn to the indolent and comfortable attitude of a
person, who, with his legs stretched conspicuously along the cushioned
bench, was reading a newspaper. How it was I can hardly tell; but my eye
was irresistibly attracted to his boots, just as Othello's was to the
handkerchief bound round the wounded limb of Cassio. He seemed to be
proud of them; they were ostentatiously elevated into view. The boots
were Hessians. Though not now worn in their very "newest gloss," they
were yet in excellent, I may say in enviable condition. My anxious glance
not only wandered over their polished surface, but seemed to penetrate to
their rich bright linings, the colour whereof was now no more a secret to
me than were those silken tassels that dangled to delight the beholder. I
knew _my_ boots again. The wearer, having the newspaper spread before his
face, could not notice any observation directed to his lower extremities;
my opportunity of inspection therefore was complete. They _were_ my
Hessians. My first impulse was to ring the bell for a boot-jack, and
claim them upon the spot; but before I could do so the stranger suddenly
sprang upon his feet, seized his hat, and with one complacent glance at
those tasselled habiliments, which were far from having lost all their
"original brightness," swaggered out of the coffee-room.
Curiosity prompted me to follow--I caught a glimpse of the bright backs
of my boots as they flashed round the corner of a neighbouring street.
Pursuing them, I surveyed the wearer; and now perceived that not even
those incomparable Hessians could transform a satyr into Hyperion, or
convert a vulgar strut into the walk of a gentleman. Those boots were
never made for such limbs--never meant to be "sported" after so villanous
a fashion. You could see that his calves were indifferently padded,
and might have sworn the swaggerer was a swell blackleg--one of the
shabby-genteel, and visibly-broken-down class. Accordingly, after a turn
or two, it was anything but surprising to see him squeeze himself into a
narrow passage over the door of which was written the word "Billiards."
I heard my boots tramping up the dingy staircase to which the passage
led--and my feet, as though from sympathy, and what the philosopher calls
the "eternal fitness of things," were moving after them--when the "_cui
bono?_" forcibly occurred to my mind! If I should demand my Hessians,
was there a probability of obtaining them? and if I should obtain them,
was there a possibility of my ever wearing them again? Could I think of
treading in the boots of a blackleg, albeit they never were his own? No,
I gave them up to the profanation which was their destiny. I called up
Hamlet's reflection on the vile uses to which we may return; and as for
the gambler, who in once virtuous boots threaded the paths of vice and
depravity, I kicked him--"with my mind's toe, Horatio"--and passed on.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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