Caricatures and cartoons -- Great Britain; English wit and humor; English wit and humor, Pictorial
"My Hessians"--neither mine, nor Hessians, now--were on their last
legs. Theirs had not been "a beauty for ever unchangingly bright." They
had experienced their decline; their fall was nigh. Their earliest
patchings suggested, as a similitude, the idea of a Grecian temple, whose
broken columns are repaired with brick; the brick preponderates as ruin
prevails, until at length the original structure is no more. The boots
became one patch! Such were they on that winter-morn, when a ruddy-faced
"translator" sat at his low door, on a low stool, the boots on his lap
undergoing examination. After due inspection, his estimate of their value
was expressed by his adopting the expedient of Orator Henley; that is to
say, by cutting the legs off, and reducing what remained of their pride
to the insignificance of a pair of shoes; which, sold in that character
to a match-vender, degenerated after a few weeks into slippers. _Sic
transit_, &c.
Of the appropriation of the amputated portion no very accurate account
can be rendered. Fragments of the once soft and glossy leather furnished
patches for dilapidated goloshes; a pair or two of gaiter-straps were
extricated from the ruins; and the "translator's" little boy manufactured
from the remains a "sucker," of such marvellous efficacy that his father
could never afterwards keep a lapstone in the stall.
As for the slippers, improperly so called, they pinched divers corns,
and pressed various bunions in their day, as the boots, their great
progenitors, had done before them, sliding, shuffling, shambling, and
dragging their slow length along; until in the ripeness of time, they,
with other antiquities, were carried to Cutler-street, and sold to a
venerable Jewess. She, with knife keen as Shylock's, ripped off the
soles--all besides was valueless even to her--and, not without some pomp
and ceremony, laid them out for sale on a board placed upon a crippled
chair. Yes, for sale; and to that market for soles there soon chanced to
repair an elderly son of poverty; who, having many little feet running
about at home made shoes for them himself. The soles became his; and
thus of the apocryphal remains of my veritable Hessians, was there just
sufficient leather left to interpose between the tender feet of a child,
and the hard earth, his mother!
[Illustration]
ON A WICKED SHOEMAKER.
You say he has sprung from Cain;--rather
Confess there's a difference vast:
For Cain was a son of the _first_ father
While he is "a son of the last."
[Illustration]
LOVE SEEKING A LODGING.
At Leila's heart, from day to day,
Love, boy-like, knock'd, and ran away;
But Love grown older, seeking then
"Lodgings for single gentlemen,"
Return'd unto his former ground,
And knock'd, but no admittance found--
With his rat, tat, tat.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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