Then the Lord let me see why there was none upon the earth that could
speak to my condition, namely, that I might give Him all the glory.
For all are concluded under sin, and shut up in unbelief, as I had
been; that Jesus Christ might have the pre-eminence, who enlightens,
and gives grace, and faith, and power. Thus when God doth work, who
shall hinder it? and _this I knew experimentally_.
My desire after the Lord grew stronger, and zeal in the pure
knowledge of God, and of Christ alone, without the help of any man,
book, or writing. For though I read the Scriptures that spoke of
Christ and of God, yet I knew Him not, but by revelation, as He who
hath the key did open, and as the Father of Life drew me to His Son
by His Spirit. Then the Lord gently led me along, and let me see His
love, which was endless and eternal, surpassing all the knowledge
that men have in the natural state, or can obtain from history or
books; and that love let me see myself, as I was without Him.
I was afraid of all company, for I saw them perfectly where they
were, through the love of God, which let me see myself. I had not
fellowship with any people, priests or professors, or any sort of
separated people, but with Christ, who hath the key, and opened the
door of Light and Life unto me. I was afraid of all carnal talk and
talkers, for I could see nothing but corruptions, and the life lay
under the burthen of corruptions.
When I myself was in the deep, shut up under all, I could not
believe that I should ever overcome; my troubles, my sorrows, and my
temptations were so great that I thought many times I should have
despaired, I was so tempted. But when Christ opened to me how He was
tempted by the same devil, and overcame him and bruised his head, and
that through Him and His power, light, grace, and Spirit, I should
overcome also, I had confidence in Him; so He it was that opened to
me when I was shut up and had no hope nor faith. Christ, who had
enlightened me, gave me His light to believe in; He gave me hope,
which He Himself revealed in me, and He gave me His Spirit and grace,
which I found sufficient in the deeps and in weakness.
Thus, in the deepest miseries, and in the greatest sorrows and
temptations, that many times beset me, the Lord in His mercy did keep
me.
I found that there were two thirsts in me--the one after the
creatures, to get help and strength there, and the other after
the Lord, the Creator, and His Son Jesus Christ. I saw all the
world could do me no good; if I had had a king's diet, palace, and
attendance, all would have been as nothing; for nothing gave me
comfort but the Lord by His power. At another time I saw the great
love of God, and was filled with admiration at the infiniteness of it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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