ourselves," I exclaimed, "that we should not interfere with our
friends, unless to leave them in possession of their own joys, and
increase their happiness by sharing it with them! But when their souls
are tormented by a violent passion, or their hearts rent with grief, is
it in your power to afford them the slightest consolation?
"And when the last fatal malady seizes the being whose untimely grave
you have prepared, when she lies languid and exhausted before you, her
dim eyes raised to heaven, and the damp of death upon her pallid
brow,--then you stand at her bedside like a condemned criminal, with
the bitter feeling that your whole fortune could not save her; and the
agonizing thought wrings you that all your efforts are powerless to
impart even a moment's strength to the departing soul, or quicken her
with a transitory consolation."
At these words the remembrance of a similar scene at which I had been
once present fell with full force upon my heart. I buried my face in my
handkerchief, and hastened from the room, and was only recalled to my
recollection by Charlotte's voice, who reminded me that it was time to
return home. With what tenderness she chid me on the way for the too
eager interest I took in everything! She declared it would do me
injury, and that I ought to spare myself. Yes, my angel! I will do so
for your sake.
July 6.
She is still with her dying friend, and is still the same bright,
beautiful creature whose presence softens pain, and sheds happiness
around whichever way she turns. She went out yesterday with her little
sisters: I knew it, and went to meet them; and we walked together. In
about an hour and a half we returned to the town. We stopped at the
spring I am so fond of, and which is now a thousand times dearer to me
than ever. Charlotte seated herself upon the low wall, and we gathered
about her. I looked round, and recalled the time when my heart was
unoccupied and free. "Dear fountain," I said, "since that time I have
no more come to enjoy cool repose by thy fresh stream; I have passed
thee with careless steps, and scarcely bestowed a glance upon thee." I
looked down, and observed Charlotte's little sister, Jane, coming up
the steps with a glass of water. I turned towards Charlotte, and I felt
her influence over me. Jane at the moment approached with the glass.
Her sister, Marianne, wished to take it from her. "No!" cried the
child, with the sweetest expression of face, "Charlotte must drink
first."
The affection and simplicity with which this was uttered so charmed me
that I sought to express my feelings by catching up the child and
kissing her heartily. She was frightened, and began to cry. "You should
not do that," said Charlotte. I felt perplexed. "Come, Jane," she
continued, taking her hand and leading her down the steps again, "it is
no matter; wash yourself quickly in the fresh water."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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