The old woman did not speak, but it seemed to Lena as if she would like
it. So she went and knelt down and lit a fire.
When she came back to the bed, the old woman smiled contentedly and
said: "Yes, Lena, it is hot. But you know, I always want to see it. And
when I do not see it, I think everything is gone and there is not a
spark of life left. And there is so much trouble here...."
And she pointed to her breast and heart.
"Ah, mother, you are always thinking about dying. And yet it has passed
away so many times already."
"Yes, child, it has passed away often, but it must come sometime and at
seventy it may come any day. I wish you would open the other window
too, so that there will be more air and the fire will burn better. Just
look, it isn't burning well, it smokes so ..."
"The sun does that, it is shining right on it...."
"And then give me the green drops that Frau Doerr brought me. They
always help me a little."
Lena did as she was asked and when the sick woman had taken the drops,
she really seemed to be a little better and easier around her heart.
She propped herself up with her hands and raised herself higher, and
when Lena had put another cushion behind her back, she said:
"Has Franke been here lately?"
"Yes, he was here early to-day. He always stops to inquire before he
goes to the factory."
"He is a very good man."
"Yes, he is that."
"And about the Conventiclers...."
"It may not be so bad. And I almost believe that he gets his good
principles from them. Do you believe so?"
The old woman smiled. "No, Lena, they come from the good God. And one
has them and another has not. I don't believe very much in learning and
training.... And has not he said anything yet?"
"Yes, yesterday evening."
"And how did you answer him?"
"I told him that I would accept him, because I thought he was an
honorable and trustworthy man, who would not only take care of me, but
of you too...."
The old woman nodded her approval.
"And," Lena went on, "when I had told him that, he took my hand and
exclaimed cheerfully: 'So then, Lena, it is all settled!' But I shook
my head and said, not quite so fast, because I still had something to
confess to him. And when he asked what it was, I told him that I had
had two love affairs: First ... there, mother, you know all about
it ... and the first I liked very much and the other I loved dearly
and still cared for him. But he was now happily married and I had never
seen him again but just once, and I did not want to see him again. But,
since he was so good and kind to us, I felt obliged to tell him
everything, because I would not deceive anyone, and certainly not
him...."
"My Lord, my Lord," whimpered the old woman, while Lena was speaking.
"And directly afterwards he got up and went back to his own rooms. But
I could see plainly that he was not angry. Only he would not let me go
to the door with him as usual."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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