A priest who had not studied much, came into the pulpit and said: “I will briefly speak of three things to-day. The first I know, and you do not. The second you know, and I do not. The third none of us knows. That my trousers are torn, I know. Whether you are going to give me a new pair, you know. Our sexton had a fresh barrel of beer put in; but whether that beer is good, none of us knows; so come along and let us taste it.” A Bright Reply Three young noblemen were riding by a field in which a farmer was working among his cabbages. They rode up to him, and one said: “My good man, what will you give us, if we prove to you that you are a cabbage?” The farmer answered: “Nothing, for I can do those tricks as well as you. Now I can prove to you, that your saddles are mules.” At this the young sparks shouted with laughter and said: “Well, tell us all about it.” The farmer answered: “Why, all my life, I have known that anything between a horse and an ass has been called a mule.” A Large Recipe A good but stupid countryman stopped with his farm wagon before a drug-store in the town, and began to unload a big, heavy door. The druggist, much surprised, said: “What do you want with that here? The carpenter lives over there.” Said the farmer: “It is all right. My wife is ill, the doctor has been to see her and wrote the prescription with chalk on this door, as we had no pen and ink. Now, sir, please make it up. I am in a great hurry.” A Trapful “Once I caught in my trap a wild duck, a fox, and a nine pound carp.” “How did it happen?” “Near the pond, a fox saw a duck; he sneaked up to catch her. Springing at her, he caught her by the wing, but the duck managed to get into the water. The fox holding on to her wing followed her; but a big carp swam up behind and bit him in his leg. The fox closes his claws so tight on the carp that it cannot get away again. Now the trap was close by, and the duck fluttered into it. The fox not willing to lose her, follows in and pulls the carp after him.” His Turn A woman whose little child would not go to sleep at night, wakened her husband, to take his turn for a while in nursing it, as it was as much his part as hers. “You are right,” said the husband, turning on his other side, “you rock your part, I’ll let mine scream.” A Sympathetic Parson A parson preached in Holy week so touchingly about the Lord’s suffering, that the whole congregation began to sob. Then the minister, who was a very tender-hearted man and did not like to see anybody weep, said: “My dear friends, be comforted; it all happened so long ago, who knows whether it is true.” Delayed Justice