A professor once undertook the hard task of translating Virgil into Greek and publishing it. In the announcement of his work he said: “_In gratiam corum, qui Latinam linguam non callent_” (For the benefit of those who do not understand Latin). Thorwaldsen’s Teeth A well-known sculptor quarreled one day with Thorwaldsen, and went so far as to place his own works above those of the latter. “You may tie my hands,” said Thorwaldsen, “and I will bite the marble with my teeth better than you can chisel it!” Gone Crazy A scientist asserts that all effervescent drinks, such as champagne, are nothing but fluids, gone crazy over the treatment they received at the factories, and foaming with rage. Anything But His Medicine Gottfried Kneller, a celebrated portrait painter, had a beautiful flower-garden. His neighbor, Dr. Ratcliff’s servant, came in so often to get flowers, that Kneller grew angry, and sent word to the doctor that he felt obliged to close up the gate. Ratcliff sent answer that he could do with it what he pleased, only he would not advise him to paint on it. “Good,” said Kneller, “I’ll take anything of his as long as it is not medicine.” Failed to Appreciate the Laugh When the celebrated Professor Gesenius announced a lecture on the first book of Moses (Genesis) his always well-filled auditorium was crowded. All the students were waiting impatiently for what was to come. Punctual to the minute, Gesenius appeared, and opened his lecture with these words: “Gentlemen, the Genesis is not as old as you think.” This was the signal for shouts of laughter from his entire audience, but which was not meant to offend their honored lecturer, and we do not know whether he ever heard the reason for this merriment. Gesenius had five daughters, whom the students designated by the names of the five books of Moses—Genesis, Exodus, etc. The oldest was Genesis. Hinc ille risus! (Hence that laughter.) Crebillon’s Choice Crebillon was once asked why he chose the terrifying for the subjects of his tragedies. “I had no other choice left,” he replied. “Corneille took Heaven from me; Racine the Earth (world); so all that was left for me was Hades.” Absent-minded Neander, the great church historian, wanted a book that was on top of a high book shelf in his study. The step-ladder was not high enough, so he climbed from that to the top of the high, square porcelain stove to reach the coveted treasure. He dived into it at once, and grew so absorbed in the contents that he forgot to come down from his perch. His sister, Neander’s Hannchen, waited in vain for him to come to the afternoon coffee. Anxiously she hurried to the study but she did not discover him. Seeing the step-ladder leaning against the stove, and being of an orderly turn of mind, she put it in its place. Concluding that her brother must have gone out, she went back to her room.