German wit and humor : $b A collection from various sources classified under appropriate subject headingsDownes, Minna Sophie Marie Baumann
General
German wit and humor : $b A collection from various sources classified under appropriate subject headings
Downes, Minna Sophie Marie Baumann
German wit and humor
The Emperor nodded assent: “You are right; three little Princes do cost a
good deal.”
When the royal family met for a late supper, the Emperor handed a
telegram to his granddaughter. She looked at it, scarcely able to
comprehend the contents, until the old gentleman said with a kindly smile:
“No need to keep you in suspense
The children are coming—at my expense.”
The Emperor’s Thoughtfulness
While the Emperor and Empress were at Ems, Count von Gneisenau, a son of
the famous general of that name, was often asked to dine at the royal
table. It was his habit always to decline the after-dinner coffee. One
day he had again been a guest at dinner. A lackey offered him a cup of
coffee. The Count declined, without interrupting his conversation with
the Empress. A second time a cup was offered to him, and before he could
decline again, the Empress said: “Do take that cup!”
The Count obeyed, but held the cup in his hand. The Emperor coming up to
them remarked: “Why, Gneisenau, you are not drinking your coffee!”
The Count murmured a few words of excuse. “Well, you might at least look
at the cup!”
Gneisenau did so. Tears of emotion dimmed his eyes. On the cup was the
portrait of his father. With a benevolent smile, the Emperor said:
“I saw that cup this morning in one of the stalls of the promenade and
bought it for you! You must always drink out of it.”
Socks with Knots
The little Princess Feodora, of Sachsen-Meiningen, a great-granddaughter
of Emperor William I, was learning to knit, and the first thing
she wanted to do was to knit a pair of warm socks for her beloved
great-grandpapa at Berlin. In a few weeks the task was accomplished and
the gift sent off. It pleased the Emperor so much that he insisted on
putting the socks on at once.
During the evening it was noticed that his face looked drawn, as if he
was in pain; but on being asked if he was ill, he said smilingly:
“Do not worry, I am all right; but Feodora has made such a lot of immense
hard knots in her socks, that I feel as if I were screwed into one of the
old instruments of the inquisition!”
A Cause for Thankfulness
A general once asked the Emperor for a detachment of cavalry, for service
at the capital of his province. Laughing, the Emperor said:
“My dear general, you will have to ask that man,” pointing towards
Moltke; “he alone disposes of our army. I must be thankful if he leaves
me my guards!”
Equal to the Occasion
The Emperor was an enthusiastic sportsman. One day, while on a hunt with
a number of royal guests, he grew tired, and decided to go home quietly.
Two of his guests, noticing this, accompanied him. They had walked along
the road some distance when a farmer with his wagon overtook them. One
of the gentlemen asked him to take them along for a consideration. The
farmer consented and the three climbed into the farm-wagon.
Curiosity soon got the better of the countryman, and turning to one of
the gentlemen, he asked:
“And who might you be?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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