German wit and humor : $b A collection from various sources classified under appropriate subject headingsDownes, Minna Sophie Marie Baumann
General
German wit and humor : $b A collection from various sources classified under appropriate subject headings
Downes, Minna Sophie Marie Baumann
German wit and humor
“On that memorable day in July, 1866, when victory and defeat hung for
hours in the balance, I was filled with disquietude and apprehension. I
rode up to Moltke, who sat on his horse like a statue, following every
movement of the battle. To talk to him was impossible; but I had in my
case two cigars left, a good one and a bad one. Without a word I offered
the case to Moltke, and without a word he took it, examined the two
cigars and selected the good one. This was enough encouragement for me,
for I said to myself, if the General can so calmly select the better
cigar, our chances must be good.”
His Winter Wheat
Directly after the declaration of war, in 1870, an old friend met Count
Moltke on the street, and remarked:
“You must be overburdened with work just now!”
“Oh no,” was the cold-blooded answer, “the work was all done beforehand.
All orders are issued, and I have really nothing to do!”
A few minutes later, he met a merchant, with whom he had done business at
Kreisau, who asked him anxiously about the outlook. “Well,” said the old
Field-Marshal in his mildest tone, “I am quite content; my barley crop,
it is true, was only middling, but my crop of winter wheat promises to be
immense and that, as you know, is the main thing.”
Looked Like One of Them
Once, while Moltke was at Ragaz for his health, he walked alone through
the woods to the village Pfäfers. It was very warm and he was thirsty, so
he went into the village inn and asked for a drink. The host sat down by
him and began:
“I suppose you are a guest at Ragaz?”
“Yes.”
“They say Moltke is there too!”
“Yes.”
“How does he look?”
“Well, how should he look? Just like one of us two.”
Wig Instead of Handkerchief
It was at Meaux, the night before the siege of Paris began. All the
Chiefs and Generals of the different divisions of the army, were
assembled in the Field-Marshal’s quarters, discussing plans and studying
maps and charts. It was two o’clock in the morning; a big fire was
burning in the grate; the room was intensely warm.
Moltke, so one of the officers tells us, was in a long dressing gown,
without his wig, was walking up and down, deeply engrossed in thought.
The heat made the perspiration stream down our faces. Suddenly one of us
looked up to ask the Field-Marshal a question, but stopped short and drew
the attention of the others to what he saw.
The General, too, had found it necessary to wipe the perspiration from
his face, but in his preoccupation he had not noticed, that in passing
his night-table, he had picked up his wig instead of his handkerchief
and was vigorously wiping his face with it. He kept it up for some time,
looking so exceedingly funny that we broke into shouts of laughter. When
we explained, he joined in our mirth.
CHAPTER XIII
_Students in the Fatherland_
Obvious
Professor:—“The old Greeks built their theatres in such a way that the
spectators sat in an uncovered space.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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