Fresh student:—“But what did the old Greeks do when they were at the theatre and it commenced to rain?” Professor (thoughtfully taking off his spectacles, polishing them and putting them on again):—“When it rained at the time the old Greeks were at the theatre, the old Greeks got wet.” Perhaps He Was Right Professor:—“How do you find the size of a triangle?” Student (mumbling to himself):—“What a fool that Professor is; how should I know!” Professor:—“What is that? Say it again; perhaps you were right.” A Reminder Professor M——, of Königsberg, whose house faced the cattle market, had a number of enemies among the hot-headed students. Once when during a lecture, they created an uproar, drumming on their desks, he said coldly: “Gentlemen, for your own sakes I must beg of you not to remind me where I live.” These few words soon restored quiet. Long Buried Professor (at a medical examination, showing a human bone):—“Can you tell me about how long this bone might have been buried in the earth and whether it is of the male or female sex.” Student (after thinking for some time):—“The bone has been in the earth since the death of its owner, and is of the male sex because we say: _Der_ Knochen” (masc. article). Remember Me Professor (making a farewell speech):—“And now, young gentlemen, as you are entering the life of the University, I ask you to avoid all drinking bouts. Beer drinking makes stupid students. Remember me!” Gave Him Away Professor:—“I have to ask your indulgence for a few minutes. I left my manuscript at home, but my little son will bring it at once.” The little son (entering):—“Mother could not find the manuscript, so she sends you the book from which you copied it.” The Persistent Creditor Creditor (who is receiving his money at last):—“There are still ten marks missing, if you please!” Student:—“I shall deduct those from the amount, for rent, since for the past few months you lived at my lodgings more than I did.” Watchman or Donkey Student:—“Herr Nachtwächter (nightwatchman), I wish to ask you something. May I call a Nachtwächter a donkey?” Nachtwächter:—“Just you take yourself off, before I haul you in.” Student (goes, but returns after a few steps):—“Now listen; I have another question. May I call a donkey a Nachtwächter?” Nachtwächter:—“You may, for all I care!” Student:—“Well then, good-night, Herr Nachtwächter!” He Had the Watch Student:—“What time is it?” Pawnbroker:—“Did you waken me in the middle of the night to ask me that?” Student:—“Why of course, you’ve got my watch!” Knew His Father Professor:—“Well, young man, if your father should borrow a thousand marks, promising to pay them back in yearly instalments of two hundred and fifty marks, how much money would he still owe at the end of three years?” “A thousand marks.” “Why, my dear sir, you don’t even know the rudiments of arithmetic.” “Possibly not; but I know my father.” An Acquired Taste