Saturday:—As “Sulamithe” in the “Queen of Saba” was suffocated in the Simoom of the desert. Sunday:—“Hamlet” and I as “Ophelia” drowned—under a storm of applause—in the brook. How beautiful it is, to be able to devote one’s art and one’s life to give _pleasure_ to one’s fellow-men! Deep Mourning Count:—“Gracious lady, are you not dancing to-night?” Lady:—“Not till after midnight, Count.” Count:—“Why not until then?” Lady:—“Because to-day is the anniversary of my husband’s death.” Without Nerves Mother (coming home, meeting her children):—“Why, children, how you do look; where have you been?” Walter:—“At the Major’s, across the street, mamma, and didn’t we have a great time playing!” Elsa:—“And just think, mamma, Clara’s mother has no nerves at all!” Unaccountable Stupidity Fanny had succeeded in coaxing her mother to take her to hear “Lohengrin.” During the performance she turns to her mother and says: “Why, mamma, how stupid of Elsa to ask Lohengrin his name, when all she had to do was to look at the program!” A Gentle Hint “Ah, sir, if ever I should have grandchildren, I could not wish them a better father than yourself!” A Suggestive Question “So sad to-day, Miss Alice?” “Oh, yes; I am very unhappy!” “May I ask why?” “Papa told me just now, that we are going home to-morrow.” “Am I perhaps the happy one, on whose account you are so very unhappy?” The Swan Song “Is it true, mamma, that swans sing before they die?” “Yes, my child! but come, stop feeding them or you will make them ill.” “That is just what I want to do. I am going to feed them till they die. I do want to hear a swan-song, so much!” A Slight Misunderstanding “So you have but just returned from a trip to Paris! You visited the Louvre, I suppose?” “Oh, certainly, was so delighted with it, that I went all over it!” “And which one of the many magnificent pictures pleased you most, Baroness?” “Pictures? I did not see any pictures; the velvet coats charmed me most!” “Ah, then you were at the dry-goods store ‘Louvre’!” “Why, where else did you think?” The Boy Understood Minister (who has a few boy boarders):—“So you have sunk so low, Fritz, as to steal my milk from the cellar! But who is it, from whom you can conceal nothing; who sees everything; before whom I myself am nothing but a grain of sand?” Fritz (weeping):—“Your wife, sir!” A Child’s Request The mother, on leaving the room, warns her little daughter: “Don’t think of taking a pear from the basket when I am gone; you know, little one, that if I cannot see you, the dear Lord can.” Mother gone, the little girl can’t resist the temptation, and looking up to heaven, she says, in a pleading voice: “Dear Lord, do please turn around!” The Order of Things