Now, with the family lived a very active sister-in-law, who was in the habit of rising very early. On this morning she saw the dressing-gown, and thinking to please her brother-in-law, she took it down and shortened it six inches more. After breakfast the two ladies went to market, and the husband, thinking of his dressing-gown, before going to business, ordered the cook to take it to the tailor, and have it shortened about six inches. In the afternoon the tailor returned it—a jacket with tails. A Suabian Prussian-hater “We are nowhere, since we joined the Prussians; we must be soldiers, we must pay taxes, and we must keep our mouths shut!” “Now, tell the truth, Hans; when were you a soldier? When did you pay taxes, and when did you ever keep your mouth shut?” Equal to the Occasion A clergyman living near Rastock, had an old man, one of his farm-hands, drive him to Warnemünde to inspect a man-of-war. On the way he talked about the big vessel they were going to see. “Oh,” said his farm-hand, “I’ve seen a vessel like that often enough.” “Where did you ever see a man-of-war?” “At Portsmouth, when my regiment was shipped.” “How did you get to Portsmouth?” “We came there from Quebec. I was stationed in Canada a long time. Lots of Indians there. They loafed around the streets, even their color wasn’t like ours.” “But how did you get there?” “From Gibraltar, where it’s dreadfully hot, and nothing is there but stones and rocks. Oh yes, they’ve monkeys and loads of dust.” “But how in the world did you happen to strike Gibraltar?” “Went with the Englishmen.” “And how did you get among the Englishmen?” The farm-hand scratched his head, grinned, and said: “I ran away from here, because I did not want to be a soldier.” The Last Train “Could you tell me when the last train for Potsdam is going to leave?” asked a traveler of his neighbor at the station. “Well,” said he dryly, “I don’t suppose either of us will live to catch it.” A Questionable Dish A German merchant dining with a Chinese Mandarin at Hongkong, seemed to be very much pleased with the foreign dishes. He had just been enjoying a roast, when the disquieting thought struck him, that he might have been dining off a cat, as he had been told that the Chinese ate cats as well as rats. He determined to find out. But unluckily the Chinaman did not speak German, and the German did not understand Chinese, so the latter pointed at the dish saying: “Miau, miau!” “Wow, wow!” said the Chinaman, shaking his head. The Host Could Not Leave At a large evening party, one of the guests stood in a corner yawning. “Are you very much bored, sir?” asked his neighbor. “Yes, dreadfully,” was the answer. “And you?” “Oh I am bored to death too.” “How would it do, to clear out together?” “I am sorry I can’t; I am the host.” Proof Without Doubt “Say, do you think we need the sun more than the moon?” asked one corner-lounger of another.