“What a foolish question,” replied the other; “of course we need the moon more; it’s light enough in daytime anyhow.” A Question of Numbers Professor (to a shepherd):—“A shepherd once told me that black sheep eat a great deal less than the white ones. I supposed he told me a story?” Shepherd:—“No, not at all!” Professor:—“Well, how is that?” Shepherd:—“Why, you know there are a great many more white ones than black ones.” Difference of Opinion A young officer and a clergyman met at a party. The former, intending to be witty, said: “If I had a stupid son, I would make a clergyman of him!” The clergyman replied: “How opinions differ! Your sainted father thought otherwise.” He Could Not Swim “Which one of you can swim?” asked a gentleman who wished to be rowed across the lake. At once a number of boatmen surrounded him, crying: “I, sir; I!” Only one remained at a distance. “Can you not swim?” he asked the man. “No, sir,” answered the boatman. “Then you are the one to row me over.” Gave What They Wished During war time a parson wished to rouse his congregation to more enthusiastic patriotism, so, when addressing them one day, he cried: “Ha! Already I see the enemy coming, see him enter your village, burn your homes, take away your wives and daughters! Yes, they are coming, they are near; do you see the flags waving? Do you hear the beating of the drums?” at the same time drumming on the pulpit with both fists. Immediately the schoolmaster behind the pulpit imitated the blowing of a bugle. The parson turning around, whispered: “Schoolmaster, what are you doing?” “I am helping you, sir,” he replied. “I know our farmers. Infantry alone won’t do; you want cavalry too.” Located at Last In one of Munich’s streets, a crowd had gathered around a little lost boy. He answered all questions as to his name, where he lived, with: “I don’t know.” There seemed nothing left to do, but to take him to the police station, when some knowing fellow had a bright thought. He planted himself in front of the boy saying, “Now you just tell me, sonny, where do you buy your beer?” “At the Franziskaner,” was the quick reply. There he was taken and was soon identified. A Wife’s Ten Commandments 1. Beware of the first quarrel. When it comes, fight it out bravely to the end; it is of far-reaching consequence, that you should come out victorious. 2. Never forget that you are married to a man, not to a God; then his shortcomings will not surprise you. 3. Do not pester him continually for money, but try to get along with your weekly allowance. 4. If your husband should not possess a heart, he undoubtedly owns a stomach; you will be wise, if you try to gain his favor with well-cooked food. 5. Now and then, not too often, let him have the last word; it pleases him and you lose nothing by it.