“Ah, but his debts are so many that one wife wouldn’t do any good at all!” Laconic Young Lawyer:—“Was a client here?” Clerk:—“One, I think, during the dinner hour; your overcoat is missing.” The Life-Saver Housemaid (rushing into the artist’s studio):—“For heaven’s sake, Herr Pempe, hide yourself—or go away for a time at once! A while ago there were six or eight gentlemen here, who said they were the ‘hanging committee’ and wanted you! I had hard work to get rid of them, but they are coming back soon!” No Danger “I hope your lawyer is not going to let the District-attorney intimidate her!” “Goodness, no! She is his mother-in-law!” Inexperienced Husband:—“What did you do with yourself, dear, while I was at the club?” Wife:—“I was very industrious, I mended all those horrid holes in your lion and tiger skins.” Husband:—“Why my dear child, what were you thinking of! Those holes were my greatest pride; they represented my best shots!” Cautious Cashier:—“To make you feel perfectly secure, I’ll present you with my photograph.” Banker:—“Haven’t you one without a beard?” Not so Bad as Painted Malicious Painter:—“Just think, I received three orders for portraits to-day!” Friend:—“There, now you see, people are not as bad as you paint them.” An Indirect Cure Doctor:—“Well, you seem to be quite well again! Did you take my pills every day?” Countryman:—“Oh, yes, I took them all right. You see, it was this way, doctor. My black hen got at the box of pills and ate them all up. So I killed the hen and ate her, and so I got well again.” A Practical Savings-bank “If I take my cod-liver oil nicely, mother always gives me five pfennig.” “And what do you do with so much money?” “Oh, mother puts it into my bank and buys more cod-liver oil with it.” Anonym Did It Boy (to his father in a picture gallery):—“Father, what kind of a painter is this ‘Anonym’ whose name is mentioned so often in the catalogue?” Father:—“What a foolish boy you are! Anonym is a foreign word and means that the painter wishes to be unknown for the present.” Father (at home, several hours later):—“It is perfectly dreadful the way you children meddle with everything; there is no end to your mischief! Now my beautiful meerschaum pipe has been broken. Who did it?” Boy:—“Anonym, father!” A Good Example Mother:—“Remember, Franz, it is very naughty to lean on your elbows as you are doing just now.” Franz (pointing at a picture of the Sistine Madonna hanging in the room):—“Oh, but mother, those two angels there are doing the same thing.” Pride of Birth Little Baroness:—“When people die they go to heaven, do they not? and when a child dies it goes to heaven too——” Baroness:—“And is called an angel.” Little Baroness:—“But, mamma, if one of us should die we would be called ‘von angel,’ of course?” Logic Child:—“Mamma is it true that people are made of dust?” Mother:—“Yes, my dear.” Child:—“Are the negroes made of coal-dust, then?” The Wrong Way