Ah, true, true! If he could only find his family again. If he could
try by love and immeasurable devotion to atone for the past. Then
again life would have a meaning and an aim. Poor, poor Haigitcha! How
he would weep over her and cherish her. And his children! They must be
grown up. Yankely must be quite a young man. Yes, he would be
seventeen by now. And Rachel, that pretty, clinging cherub!
In all those years he had not dared to let his thoughts pause upon
them. His past lay like a misty dream behind those thousand leagues of
ocean. But now it started up in all the colours of daylight, warm,
appealing. Yes, he would go back to his dear ones who must still crave
his love and guidance; he would plead and be forgiven, and end his
days piously at the sacred hearth of duty.
'Forgive us now, pardon us now, atone for us now!'
If only he could get back to old England.
He appealed to the philanthropist, and lied amid all his contrition.
It was desperation at the severance from his wife and children that
had driven him to drink, lust of gold that had spurred him across the
Atlantic. Now a wiser and sadder man, he would be content with a
modicum and the wife of his bosom.
VII
He arrived at last, with a few charity coins in his pocket, in the
familiar Spitalfields alley, guarded by the three iron posts over
which he remembered his Yankely leaping. His heart was full of tears
and memories. Ah, there was the butcher's shop still underneath the
old apartment, with the tin labels stuck in the _kosher_ meat, and
there was Gideon, the fat, genial butcher, flourishing his great
carving-knife as of yore, though without that ancient smile of
brotherly recognition. Gideon's frigidity chilled him; it was an
inauspicious omen, a symptom of things altered, irrevocable.
'Does Mrs. Mandle still live here?' he asked with a horrible
heart-sinking.
'Yes, first floor,' said Gideon, staring.
Ah, how his heart leapt up again! Haigitcha, his dear Haigitcha! He
went up the ever-open dusty staircase jostling against a spruce,
handsome young fellow who was hurrying down. He looked back with a
sudden conviction that it was his son. His heart swelled with pride
and affection; but ere he could cry 'Yankely' the young fellow was
gone. He heard the whirr of machines. Yes, she had kept on the
workshop, the wonderful creature, though crippled by his loss and the
want of capital. Doubtless S. Cohn's kind-hearted firm had helped her
to tide over the crisis. Ah, what a blackguard he had been! And she
had brought up the children unaided. Dear Haigitcha! What madness had
driven him from her side? But he would make amends--yes, he would make
amends. He would slip again into his own niche, take up the old
burdens and the old delights--perhaps even be again treasurer of 'The
Gates of Mercy.'
He knocked at the door. Haigitcha herself opened it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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