He wanted to cry her name, but the word stuck in his throat. For this
was not his Haigitcha; this was a new creature, cold, stern, tragic,
prematurely aged, framed in the sombre shadows of the staircase. And
in her eyes was neither rapture nor remembrance.
'What is it?' she asked.
'I am Elkan; don't you know me?'
She stared with a little gasp, and a heaving of the flat breasts. Then
she said icily: 'And what do you want?'
'I am come back,' he muttered hoarsely in Yiddish.
'And where is Gittel?' she answered in the same idiom.
The needles of the whirring machines seemed piercing through his
brain. So London knew that Gittel had been the companion of his
flight! He hung his head.
'I was only with her one year,' he whispered.
'Then go back to thy dung-heap!' She shut the door.
He thrust his foot in desperately ere it banged to. 'Haigitcha!' he
shrieked. 'Let me come in. Forgive me, forgive me!'
It was a tug-of-war. He forced open the door; he had a vision of
surprised 'hands' stopping their machines, of a beautiful, startled
girl holding the ends of a half-laid tablecloth--his Rachel, oh, his
Rachel!
'Open the window, one of you!' panted Haigitcha, her shoulders still
straining against the door. 'Call a policeman--the man is drunk!'
He staggered back, his pressure relaxed, the door slammed. This
repetition of his 'Yvonne Rupert' experience sobered him effectually.
What right, indeed, had he to force himself upon this woman, upon
these children, to whom he was dead? So might a suicide hope to win
back his place in the old life. Life had gone on without him--had no
need of him. Ah, what a punishment God had prepared for him! Closed
doors to the past, closed doors everywhere.
And this terrible sense of exclusion had not now the same palliative
of righteous resentment. With Yvonne Rupert, the splendid-flaming,
vicious ingrate, he had felt himself the sinned against. But before
this wife-widow, this dutiful, hard-working, tragic creature, he had
nothing but self-contempt. He tottered downstairs. How should he even
get his bread--he whose ill-fame was doubtless the gossip of the
Ghetto? If he could only get hold of Gideon's carving-knife!
VIII
But he did not commit suicide, nor did he starve. There is always one
last refuge for the failures of the Ghetto, and Elkan's easy
experience with the Jewish philanthropist had prepared the way for
dealings with the Christian.
To-day the Rev. Moses Elkan, 'the converted Jew,' preaches eloquently
to his blind brethren who never come to hear him. For he has 'found
the light.' Exeter Hall's exposition of the Jewish prophecies has
opened his eyes, and though his foes have been those of his own
household, yet, remembering the terrible text, 'He that loveth son or
daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me,' he has taken up his cross
and followed after Christ alone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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